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All Quotes by author - Bob Hope
" A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. "
Bank
Prove
Place
" A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. "
Funny
Where
Guy
" A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? "
You
Good
Heart
" I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. "
Benefits
All Religions
Hate
" I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap. "
Anything
Feel
Nap
" If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it. "
Egg
Lay
Patriotism
" If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. "
You
Heart
Charity
" If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. "
You
Golf
Sports
" I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. "
Brothers
Bathroom
Up
" I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. "
Funny
Liberty
People
" I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. "
Laugh
Seen
Humor
" I have too much money invested in sweaters. "
Money
Too Much
Too
" I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar! "
Than
Like
Stay
" I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. "
Washington
Love
Money
" I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there. "
Been
Always
Time
" Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. "
Around
Middle
Show
" People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. "
Kisses
Love
People
" She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction. "
Direction
Help
Forty
" The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. "
Back
Off
News
" The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. "
Only
Israel
Chicken
" The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. "
Fast
Dogs
Miles
" When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. "
Piano
Name
Down
" When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in. "
Parents
Shot
Something
" When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness. "
Glow
Find
Great
" You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. "
You
Cake
Getting Old
" You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it. "
Never
You
Time
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