Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

All Quotes by author - Dominic Holland

" A barrel of laughs should be enough, but it's not. A good review is official and endures. A bad one is like a tub of Flora. It spreads easily and lasts for the whole festival. "

" All kids should vote - it gives them the opportunity to whinge afterwards because you can't complain if you haven't voted. "

" Apathy in youth culture is pretty stark. "

" As a parent, I often wonder what I should be encouraging my kids to do for a career. "

" Because it's such a good car, I think we'll have a Multipla till the kids leave home, which is tragic because I could probably afford a really nice car! "

" Doing stand-up is not normal. People fear public speaking above all other things, and I am no different. "

" Edinburgh is a world city, visited throughout the year for its beauty and history, but in August, it is the City of Hope. There is something very exciting and romantic about performers of all shapes and sizes, honing their stuff for the biggest arts festival in the world. "

" Edinburgh is the most pressurised environment to do comedy. You get an hour. There's no compere. You'd better be on the money straight away; you've got journalists in. "

" Even though Bandos is one of the biggest islands in the Maldives, it only takes 20 minutes to walk round. All it has are some chalets and a little harbour centre with three restaurants and a bar. The food is magnificent. "

" For comics, Edinburgh makes no financial or medical sense. Get an audience; that's the first task. Once the punters are in, simply make them laugh for an hour, and then sweat on the critics. "

" Growing up, I was always enthralled by Ronnie Barker. He made my dad howl with laughter, which always intrigued me, and he had the rare gift of being as good a performer as he was a writer. "

" How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs. "

" I always think stand-up is the most brutal environment for a comedian. "

" I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire. "

" I am not a natural show-off. Some of the monster comedians are terrifyingly assured, and I don't have that, and that's held me back. "

" I am the first to admit that I have never been a household name. "

" I don't like false modesty. "

" I even like the Scottish weather because, like everywhere in the U.K., you can't have great beauty without lots of rain. "

" I find it pressurising coming to the Voodoo Rooms to do my hour of comedy. "

" I got heckled by a woman, and my riposte fixed upon her unfortunate hair texture, only for her to remove her wig and reveal to the room the horrors of chemotherapy. "

" I had a crisis of confidence and ran away from being a standup for a while. "

" I have tried many times to write a TV sitcom - with little success. "

" I just talk about the funny things in my life, and the idea is that my observations reflect the lives of my audience - so people are really laughing at themselves. This is the theory, anyway, and I am aware that in print, that it doesn't appear to be very funny. But it is, and I am definitely funny. "

" I like to call myself numerically dyslexic, but officially, I am mathematically thick. "

" I'm a confident person next to the guy in the street, but if you go into the showbiz world, it seems the guys who are most successful are the most confident, and I don't think I fit into that category. "

" I might get a break again, and I might get back on telly. If I don't, I'll just keep doing stand-up and doing the best gigs I can. "

" I must say that I am rather partial to funny dog videos. "

" In my career, all my most important breaks have come from Edinburgh. Winning awards, being reviewed, bagging my BBCR4 series and the chance to tour has all come from Edinburgh, which begs the question, why the hell have I left it so long to come back? "

" Invest your money safely. Avoid the risky lure of spectacular returns; go for an investment that cannot lose its value. This is why I have put all my spare cash into buying not shares, but thousands of penny chews. "

" It is the natural order of things that successive generations will achieve more than their predecessors. "

Check our other websites: