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" A fantasy of mine is to do a podcast that's Marcel Marceau and I, and you only hear me laughing at him and trying to figure out what he's doing. "
Zach Galifianakis
Doing
Trying
Him
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" I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92. "
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" I understand Tea Partyers' anger with the system, but they are in way over their heads and often racially motivated, and I can't be part of that. "
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" I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that. "
Zach Galifianakis
Past
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" As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it. "
Zach Galifianakis
Lose
Place
Lost
" I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal. "
Zach Galifianakis
Famous
Being Famous
Name
" I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling. "
Zach Galifianakis
Ryan
Next
Am
" I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie. "
Zach Galifianakis
Out
Know
Person
" When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there. "
Zach Galifianakis
Thought
Funny
People
" The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore. "
Zach Galifianakis
Day
Think
Learn
" My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing. "
Zach Galifianakis
Him
Because
Understand
" Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier. "
Zach Galifianakis
Making
Much
Stuff
" My real last name is Galifianakisburg. "
Zach Galifianakis
Real
Last
Name
" That's one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren't supposed to say. If we didn't do that, if we didn't push against those limits, we'd just be standing around onstage and yelling. "
Zach Galifianakis
Comedy
Great
People
" I can get away with anything. But when I try to be sincere, people just roll their eyes. "
Zach Galifianakis
I Can
People
Eyes
" I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony. "
Zach Galifianakis
People
Place
Farm
" I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny. "
Zach Galifianakis
Track
Think
Funny
" Comedians paint ourselves into corners all the time, and tastes in comedy change. The guy in 'The Hangover' was a really fun character to do, and it was easy to do. But you have to find other things because audiences will let you do that for a little bit, and then they're like, 'What else do you have for us, monkey?' "
Zach Galifianakis
Easy
Fun
You
" I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging. "
Zach Galifianakis
Powerful
Think
Laugh
" I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do. "
Zach Galifianakis
Feel
You
Monkey
" Hollywood's built on insecurity. People are trying to prove things. And I probably have that. I probably do. Probably guilty of it, in a way. "
Zach Galifianakis
Trying
People
Guilty
" I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese. "
Zach Galifianakis
Greek
Cheese
Body
" There was a long time where I was an 'artist' in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend. "
Zach Galifianakis
Long
Time
Money
" I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to find substitutions for cursing. "
Zach Galifianakis
You
Try
Find
" Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. "
Zach Galifianakis
Me
Funny
Rudeness
" There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life. "
Zach Galifianakis
Live
Stupid
Think
" Have you seen that show on Lifetime about that woman...? "
Zach Galifianakis
Woman
About
Lifetime
" Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself. "
Zach Galifianakis
Long
Yourself
Me
" I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do. "
Zach Galifianakis
Doing
Just
Keep
" When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically. "
Zach Galifianakis
Play
Role
Seems
" My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis. "
Zach Galifianakis
Name
After
Hope