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" As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing. "
Carol Burnett
Thought
Timing
Wonderful
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" I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland. "
Carol Burnett
Entertained
Betty
Garland
" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "
Carol Burnett
Living
People
Life
" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "
Carol Burnett
Great
Whole
Wax
" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "
Carol Burnett
Always
Been
Good
" I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy. "
Carol Burnett
Comedy
Broadway
Wanted
" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "
Carol Burnett
Laughter
Funny
Doing
" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "
Carol Burnett
You
Story
Going
" I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. "
Carol Burnett
Take
Pictures
Phone
" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "
Carol Burnett
Think
Write
Up
" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "
Carol Burnett
Who
Always
Doing
" I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.' "
Carol Burnett
Glenn Close
Hooked
Damages
" I have a great memory. "
Carol Burnett
Memory
Great
" When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged. "
Carol Burnett
Disappointment
Discouraged
Things
" My first book was an open letter to my three daughters. "
Carol Burnett
Three
Book
Daughters
" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "
Carol Burnett
Turn
Sometimes
Want
" I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry. "
Carol Burnett
Poultry
Much
Eat
" I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany. "
Carol Burnett
Voice
Had
Good
" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "
Carol Burnett
Think
Brilliant
I Think
" My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too. "
Carol Burnett
Grandmother
Mother
Humor
" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "
Carol Burnett
You
Welfare
Texas
" It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others. "
Carol Burnett
Kindness
Selfish
Help Others
" Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up. "
Carol Burnett
I Am
Know
Want
" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "
Carol Burnett
Room
Funniest
Go
" My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres. "
Carol Burnett
House
Know
Look
" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "
Carol Burnett
Motivational
My Life
Life
" My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story. "
Carol Burnett
Story
Comedy
Sketch
" It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony. "
Carol Burnett
You
Things
Say
" I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever. "
Carol Burnett
Like
Your
Whatever
" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "
Carol Burnett
Diet
Eat
I Can
" When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS. "
Carol Burnett
Contract
CBS
Left