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" Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Free
Globalization
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" I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Politics
Humor
" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Important
More
Cleanliness
" Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Force
Things
Monopolies
" Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beginning
American
Day
" For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the same as the rights of those who are. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Been
Effort
Rights
" Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Place
Nice
" You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
People
Money
" I'm really tired of virtue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Virtue
Really
Tired
" Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Powerful
Sometimes
Organization
" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Heard
Death
Somebody
" 'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Critics
President
" There are selves too big for one person to contain. You cannot call them selfish. There is nothing -ish about such selves. They are the self, as it were, itself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Nothing
Big
" The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Talents
Ready
Employees
" Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it's got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It's not pretty. But it's striking, I'll give it that. It's not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Going
Dubai
City
" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Friends
Mercy
Children
" I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sometimes
Enjoy
Too Much
" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Common
Here
Middle
" A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Humorist
Really
Much
" I'm on Medicare now. If I go and have a big operation, it costs me nothing. It should cost me a little. I'm not rich, but I can afford a few grand if I have to have my appendix taken out. I can pitch in a little bit. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Can
Nothing
Go
" Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Law
Rule Of Law
Ignorance
" A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Life
Stupid
You
" One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history. "
P. J. O'Rourke
History
World
True
" There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Consequences
You
Right
" I believe in God. God created the world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Believe
God
Created
" A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dollar
Gold
Silver
" When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he's saving a parking place. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Place
Person
Parking
" China is trying to become America without democracy while America is trying to become France without cheese calories. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democracy
America
Cheese
" Liberals have invented whole college majors - psychology, sociology and women's studies - to prove that nothing is anybody's fault. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Women
Nothing
Prove
" There are two factors in American politics that may seem strange to Europeans: race and religion. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Race
Religion
Two
" People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thinking
Today
Say