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" It's almost as if men who get tribal tattoos are trying to signal that they are dangerous, they're to be respected, and they're powerful. "
Helen Fisher
Tribal
Trying
Powerful
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" There's more than one person on the planet. When you're madly in love, that's not what you think. "
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" There are cognitive processes and limbic reactions associated with basic emotions. And you can change brain chemistry, but you're still not going to change memories and experiences in a human being. "
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" Like most animals, we're wired to associate height with power. "
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" Jealousy can even be good for love. One partner may feel secretly flattered when the other is mildly jealous. And catching someone flirting with your beloved can spark the kind of lust and romance that reignites a relationship. "
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" A Rolex watch or an expensive car are the things guys often use to show status, wealth, and basic desirability. "
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" You fall in love with somebody who fits within what I call your 'love map,' an unconscious list of traits that you build in childhood as you grow up. And I also think that you gravitate to certain people, actually, with somewhat complementary brain systems. "
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" I think that property is very important in this day and age. It defines you; you worked hard to get it. It's meaningful to you, and when you divorce, a lot of people have a lot of battles over their property for good reasons. "
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" Men have a psychological need to show off their courage and strength. When he sees you talking to another guy, that instinct kicks in and he jumps to protect you and prove he's worthy of your love. "
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" In general, men are wired to notice obvious signs that convey interest in mating - a warm smile, for example - and ignore other subtleties, like if your lipstick is faded. "
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" In courtship, who wins and who loses will determine who passes on their DNA to tomorrow. "
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" Experiences shape the brain, but the brain shapes the way we view experiences, too. "
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" Why do we feel jealousy? Therapists often regard the demon as a scar of childhood trauma or a symptom of a psychological problem. And it's true that people who feel inadequate, insecure, or overly dependent tend to be more jealous than others. "
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" When somebody leaves Match.com or Chemistry.com, they ask you why you left. One box you can check is, 'I found somebody.' Between 15 and 20 percent of people check that box. "
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" It certainly would have been adaptive for ancestral man to have a chubby wife during stressful times of famine. Not only would she have had more calories to burn, and thus more energy and endurance, but since fat stores estrogen, she would have remained fertile for longer. "
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She
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" Blushing is thought to be linked to increased levels of norepinephrine in the brain, which may be associated with romantic feelings. It signals that we are interested and excited, which is attractive to men. "
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" You size up someone physically in less than one second - too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too old, too young, too stuffy, too scruffy. "
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" Liberals and conservatives are looking for entirely different things. Their attitudes toward romance and how they court are really dramatically different. There's almost no overlap. "
Helen Fisher
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" Women have a better sense of color and a better color memory. They're more likely to notice when something doesn't match; more likely to notice what you're wearing. "
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" A woman will toss her head and a man will say, 'Oh she's trying to pick me up,' when in fact she's not doing that at all. So, women actually have to be a little careful with what they do, because men will pick up things that they didn't mean. "
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Man
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Doing
" When you massage someone, the levels of oxytocin go up in the brain, and oxytocin is one of the chemicals that drives attachment. "
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" Office romances are few, short, and not usually destructive. "
Helen Fisher
Office
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Destructive
" Today, American women bear an average of 2.2 children that live to adulthood. Across most of Europe, women bear even fewer young. "
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" When you're in the throes of this romantic love, it's overwhelming - you're out of control, you're irrational, you're going to the gym at 6 A.M. every day - Why? Because she's there. "
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" If we remained perpetually infatuated, we couldn't eat, sleep or work. "
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" The women's movement is just a symptom of basic changes in the economy that are favoring women. "
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" We are wired to find love. "
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" A lot of people head into courtship looking for fireworks. Don't pass up a chance by dumping someone after a first date because you don't feel the fireworks. The fireworks can happen at any time and be maintained. "
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" When you can't have someone but you're not willing to accept that, you try harder and become more extreme about it. Either you win the person back or you drive him away. "
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" Your sweetheart calls you by another's name. His eyes linger too long on your best friend. He talks with excitement about a girl at work. And the fire catches. Jealousy - that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation - can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival. "
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" When you fight, anger drives up testosterone in both men and women. "
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