Home
Authors
Tags
App
Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App
" The trick to scrambled eggs is to remove half the milk from the container and shake what's left as hard as you can, like a cocktail shaker, before you whisk it into the eggs. "
Sloane Crosley
Cocktail
You
Milk
Related Quotes:
" In general, I prefer to record all traumas and save them for later, playing them over and over so they can haunt me for a disproportionate number of weeks to come. It's very healthy. "
Sloane Crosley
Number
Save
Playing
" I can say with a solid degree of authority that I am a selfish person. I spontaneously forget the names of more people than not, unless I want to make out with them. I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. I tip taxi drivers so poorly I'm amazed none of them have run over my foot while speeding off. "
Sloane Crosley
Selfish
Thinking
People
" You can't possibly fathom the ins and outs of a prepubescent beauty treatment until you've felt the strange but exhilarating tingle of a cottage-cheese-and-Pop-Rocks facial. "
Sloane Crosley
Strange
Treatment
Beauty
" I was the youngest of my entire family so you are tap-dancing to try to get the attention of your older cousins. I really hit my social stride in 6th grade, but before that I was a pretty big dork. You learn how to be amusing and how to work for it. "
Sloane Crosley
Family
You
Work
" I love giving people advice on what to do with their books, but I don't really know how a Kindle Single gets covered. "
Sloane Crosley
Giving
People
Love
" I can't see the forest through the trees, except the trees are people. "
Sloane Crosley
People
Forest
See
" As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day. "
Sloane Crosley
Most
Done
Day
" It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate. "
Sloane Crosley
Me
Humor
I Am
" Some of the writers I admire who seem very, very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind, as does David Sedaris. When they write, the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend. "
Sloane Crosley
Funny
Me
Mind
" At the end of each year, I sit on the floor and go page by page through the old calendar, inking annual events into the new one, all the while watching my year in 'dinner withs' skate by. When I'm done, I save the old calendar in the box of the new one and put it with the others on a shelf. "
Sloane Crosley
Events
Page
Others
" A pet store is a celebration of dogs' existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, 'Here, we couldn't think of anything else.' Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there's only so much hoopla applicable to them. "
Sloane Crosley
Pet
Say
Think
" I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory. "
Sloane Crosley
Birthday
Summer
Memory
" Juice cleansing has been all the rage for some time. And I used the word 'rage' advisedly; one must push a violent flood of liquidised vegetables and fruit through one's system for at least three days in order to perform a 'cleanse.' "
Sloane Crosley
Rage
Fruit
Juice
" There's an 'Everything must go!' emotional liquidation feel to the end of your twenties, isn't there? What will happen if we turn thirty and we're not 'ready?' You don't feel entirely settled in any aspect of your life, even if you are on paper. "
Sloane Crosley
Feel
You
Turn
" Everyone has been in a social situation where you say something and it goes unnoticed, then someone else says the same thing and everyone laughs a lot. You learn how to be more creative and whacky and amusing. "
Sloane Crosley
You
Situation
Say
" I was diagnosed with a severe temporal spatial deficit, a learning disability that means I have zero spatial relations skills. It was official: I was a genius trapped in an idiot's body. "
Sloane Crosley
Zero
Body
Disability
" For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken. "
Sloane Crosley
Yesterday
Photograph
Nothing
" In every woman's wardrobe, there are certain accessories that cannot be separated from their back stories. "
Sloane Crosley
Woman
Accessories
Back
" I have certain rules that I've established for myself that took a while post-day job to figure out. Everyone says people who freelance or are writers struggle with the structure of it. I'm not allowed to check email before a certain hour. I'm not allowed to run errands during the day. I have to write a certain amount every day. "
Sloane Crosley
Job
Run
Struggle
" I write on weekends, on vacation, and, really - on deadline and on my floor. Both terrible for the back. "
Sloane Crosley
Weekends
Both
Back
" I think the rule of thumb should be this: if you preface a sentence about a friend with the phrase, 'I love X, but... ' more than once in any conversation, you should stop hanging out with them. "
Sloane Crosley
Love
Friend
Conversation
" We've come to expect so little from online privacy measures that public displays of concern about the matter are more or less for show. Being devastated to discover you've been tagged in somebody else's photo has an air of the melodramatic about it at this point. "
Sloane Crosley
Expect
You
Air
" I thought I was going to write fiction but I fell backwards into non-fiction. It started when I got locked out of two apartments in one day and I told the story to some friends, one of whom worked in the 'Village Voice' and asked me to turn it into an essay. "
Sloane Crosley
Me
Thought
Day
" Like most citizens of popular and international urban centres, I don't take advantage of the cultural opportunities. Perhaps this comes from growing up in suburbia. Home is where you eat, sleep, read, watch television and ignore your parents. It is not where you go to the ballet and then attend a heated panel discussion about it afterwards. "
Sloane Crosley
Ignore
Growing Up
Sleep
" In New York and L.A., there is sort of that silent competition to be on the cutting edge of something. You end up having a conversation with how the world receives your work, especially if you are writing narrative, not fiction. Sometimes it is an awkward conversation. It's like group therapy. "
Sloane Crosley
Work
Writing
Competition
" Unless you are a professional, you will find the tart to be a high-maintenance, unforgiving whistle-blower of a pastry. "
Sloane Crosley
Professional
Will
You
" The hardest thing is spending twelve hours a day accommodating the rest of the world, then going home at night and criticizing it. I would be curious about what I'd write if I didn't have to worry about offending. "
Sloane Crosley
Going Home
Day
Home
" Out of all artists, authors are the least trained for the spotlight. Wanting attention isn't a requisite part of the package. "
Sloane Crosley
Wanting
Attention
Spotlight
" There is no such thing as a crazy dog person in New York. Are there people who are completely insane about their dogs? Hordes. But cat people may as well have whiskers and tails themselves. That's because their pets' lack of social need taps straight into our worst fears as the human inhabitants of New York. "
Sloane Crosley
New York
Dog
Crazy
" There's already a marriage clock, a career clock, a biological clock. Sometimes being a woman feels like standing in the lobby of a hotel, looking at the dials depicting every time zone in the world behind the front desk - except they all apply to you, and all at once. "
Sloane Crosley
Time
World
Woman