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" Want nothing but the best for your friends because when your friends are happy and successful, it's probably going to be easier for you to be happy. "
Roxane Gay
Happy
Best
Be Happy
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" The first amendment makes it clear that we are free to practice religion without government interference. The Constitution also establishes the separation of church and state so that the laws we live by our never guided by religious zeal. "
Roxane Gay
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Practice
Live
" I have never been married. I don't know if I will ever marry, though I hope to. When I am asked why I have not married, I explain that my parents have been happily married for 42 years. The bar feels so very high for that kind of commitment. "
Roxane Gay
Parents
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I Am
" I believe in the freedom of expression, unequivocally - though, as I have written before, I wish more people would understand that freedom of expression is not freedom from consequence. "
Roxane Gay
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Believe
Freedom
" I reject the idea that when young women make choices with which we disagree, they are acting without autonomy. "
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Acting
Young
Women
" I think Lena Dunham is a very bright and very interesting writer, and what she's accomplished at such a young age absolutely impresses me. "
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Age
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" My parents have been married for 42 years. Their marriage has been - from what I can see - a happy one. "
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Marriage
See
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" When advertisers ignore diversity, it is because they don't think the lives of others matter. There is not enough of a financial imperative for those lives to matter. "
Roxane Gay
Diversity
Financial
Ignore
" I think it was really entering my 30s that I began to embrace feminism and call myself a feminist. "
Roxane Gay
Myself
Call
Embrace
" There is an odd assumption that compassion and care are finite or that critics can be everything to everyone - commenting on everything simply because they can. That's not what cultural criticism is. "
Roxane Gay
Everyone
Compassion
Criticism
" If a woman wants to take her husband's name, that's her choice, and I still think she can be feminist while doing that. "
Roxane Gay
Husband
Think
Woman
" I try to understand faith and religion. I was raised by wonderful Catholic parents who were deeply faithful and taught us that God is a God of love. "
Roxane Gay
Try
Religion
Parents
" You cannot reason with people who don't recognize the humanity in all of us. "
Roxane Gay
You
Reason
Who
" The expansive anarchy of the Internet continues to lull us into believing that, because we can see something, that something should be seen. Because we can say something, there is something that must be said. "
Roxane Gay
Anarchy
See
Said
" Pink is my favourite colour. I used to say my favourite colour was black to be cool, but it is pink - all shades of pink. If I have an accessory, it is probably pink. "
Roxane Gay
Shades
Cool
Say
" When I drive to work, I listen to thuggish rap at a very loud volume, even though the lyrics are degrading to women and offend me to my core. I am mortified by my music choices. "
Roxane Gay
Choices
Work
Women
" Definitely, there is a sense in my writing that people now know me in a personal way. And to an extent, that's true because I write about very personal things, and I use the personal often to contextualize some of these sociopolitical issues that we're dealing with. And to an extent, they're right. They know something about me. "
Roxane Gay
Know
Way
Writing
" Most open letters undoubtedly come from a good place, rising out of genuine outrage or concern or care. There is, admittedly, also a smugness to most open letters: a sense that we, as the writers of such letters, know better than those to whom the letters are addressed. We will impart our opinions to you, with or without your consent. "
Roxane Gay
Better
Place
You
" You can't control the fact that you are born a white man or born into wealth. When people say, 'Check your privilege,' they're saying, 'Acknowledge how these factors helped you move through life.' They're not saying apologize for it. "
Roxane Gay
Life
Control
Man
" I don't want the whole of my writing or my intellectual energy given over to race because I have diverse interests. "
Roxane Gay
Energy
Intellectual
Writing
" I am failing as a woman. I am failing as a feminist. To freely accept the feminist label would not be fair to good feminists. If I am, indeed, a feminist, I am a rather bad one. I am a mess of contradictions. "
Roxane Gay
I Am
Bad
Woman
" Long walks on the beach are the supposed holy grail of a romantic evening. The beach becomes a kind of utopia - the place where all our dreams come true. "
Roxane Gay
Long
Place
Dreams
" I'm sick of hearing, thinking and talking about Woody Allen. Nonetheless, the allegations against him continue to capture our national attention because so much of the story is strange and sordid. "
Roxane Gay
Sick
Attention
Thinking
" Feminism is, I hope, a way to a better future for everyone who inhabits this world. Feminism should not be something that needs a seductive marketing campaign. The idea of women moving through the world as freely as men should sell itself. "
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Hope
Future
Men
" We were the only black family in my neighborhood for many years. Wherever we lived, we were often the only black family, and certainly the only Haitian family. But my parents were really great at providing a loving home where we could feel safe and secure. "
Roxane Gay
Parents
Black
Great
" I tend to write three to four hours a day, depending - oftentimes very late at night. When I write on Twitter, I do other things: I'm working, grading, or reading, and I'm procrastinating, and I'll pop on Twitter and be like, 'Hey, what's up? Yogurt's delicious.' "
Roxane Gay
Night
Day
Three
" If I were ever to grace the pages of 'Vogue,' I would want my image retouched because the audience is so vast. There is great vulnerability in being exposed to that many judging eyes. I feel no small amount of guilt over this willingness to surrender my ideals. "
Roxane Gay
Grace
Feel
Eyes
" Everyone else thinks I'm a nonfiction writer. I think it's because my nonfiction is easier to find. But I write both in equal measure. I love writing fiction because I can totally lose myself, and I get to make up the rules of the world that I'm writing. "
Roxane Gay
Myself
Love
Think
" In Hollywood, a normal-size body is unruly. "
Roxane Gay
Hollywood
Body
Unruly
" It's so hard to write about countries like Haiti because there's truths behind the misperceptions people have. But there's so much more. There are multiple truths. "
Roxane Gay
Hard
Like
People
" After the Boston Marathon bombings, people shared grief and outrage on social media. "
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