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" We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. "
Milton Berle
Television
Funny
Him
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" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "
Josh Billings
Mistake
Memory
Funny
" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "
Josh Billings
Together
Funny
Power
" Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "
H. L. Mencken
Will
Always
Back
" I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness. "
Keanu Reeves
World
Relationship
Funny
" The superfluous, a very necessary thing. "
Voltaire
Funny
Very
Necessary
" Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. "
Mae West
Funny
Tried
Before
" The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered. "
Kevin Hart
Funny
Friends
People
" It's funny, because I have periods where I just kind of go dark. I don't tweet, I don't talk, I don't interview, and then I have times where I do. "
Lance Armstrong
Dark
Talk
Go
" It's funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it. "
Owen Wilson
Tired
Funny
Look
" I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny. "
Will Ferrell
You
Comedy
People
" Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's what makes it funny. It's not being stuck in your character and how you're gonna do something, but to react to other people and to really have a real-life conversation. "
Yara Shahidi
Funny
Change
Character
" From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. "
Dr. Seuss
Funny
Funny Things
Here
" If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "
Laurence J. Peter
Try
Two
Three
" Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. "
Tim Allen
Positive
Funny
Good
" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "
Tim Heidecker
Nothing
Choices
Funny
" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "
Will Rogers
Thankful
Be Thankful
Government
" It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now. "
Milton Berle
Now
Fast
Amazing
" I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. "
Paula Deen
Funny
Laugh
Haters
" We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes. "
Colin Mochrie
Whatever
Funny
Laugh
" I am certain there is too much certainty in the world. "
Michael Crichton
I Am
Funny
Certainty
" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "
Kate McKinnon
Way
Saying
Out
" Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation. "
Ricky Van Veen
Being Funny
Creation
Identity
" The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "
Rodney Dangerfield
Honest
Luck
Running
" You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. "
Ken Kesey
Strong
Be Strong
You
" You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. "
John Krasinski
Humor
Funny
Love
" If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. "
Abraham Lincoln
Me
Bring
Coffee
" I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people. "
Jon Hamm
Up
Desire
Funny
" I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. "
Joan Rivers
Bath
Baby
Unwanted
" I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny; he never has been. I hate him.' I don't mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important. "
Ricky Gervais
Time
People
Think
" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "
Wilson Mizner
Gambling
Way
Something