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" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "

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" After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. "

" Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. "

" Variety is the spice of love. "

" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "

" Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them. "

" A fool and her money are soon courted. "

" A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.' "

" A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. "

" France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.' "

" A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant. "

" Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "

" Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her. "

" To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. "

" The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. "

" Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. "

" When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. "

" The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him. "

" Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it. "

" When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. "

" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "

" In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. "

" A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her. "

" A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her. "

" The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. "

" And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. "

" It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing. "

" What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love. "

" A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. "

" Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. "

" Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. "