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" Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index. "

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" Grooming oneself with all the crazed compulsion of an under-exercised lab rat in order to hook a rich man and obtain a lush lifestyle makes a certain (albeit seedy) sense. "

" Being a monarchist - saying that one small group is born more worthy of respect than another - is just as warped and strange as being a racist. "

" These women whose antics we smirk at good-naturedly in the pap-traps put themselves out there at least partly on their beauty; they are in showbiz, and showing what they've got is part of their business as much as it is for male show-ponies from the Chippendales to George Clooney. "

" Here in Barcelona, it's the architects who built the buildings that made the city iconic who are the objects of admiration - not a bunch of half-witted monarchs. "

" When actresses jump on the anti-Iraq bandwagon, they often combine down-home momism with an ignorance of Islamist intent which is truly awesome. "

" As I get older I think, contrary to modern assumption but in line with the old Lerner and Lowe song, that it would actually benefit both them and society if - to quote Professor Higgins - a woman could be more like a man. "

" Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off. "

" The money I pay for my cultural experiences came willingly from my own pocket - they were not the result of bread being removed from the mouths of the poor so that Miss Thing here could mince off to the circus smelling of roses. "

" I know that Brighton is famously a mixture of the seedy and the elegant, but in the summer of 2001 seediness swamped elegance hands down. "

" A good part - and definitely the most fun part - of being a feminist is about frightening men. "

" One Christmas build-up tradition, however, has totally bypassed me - that of going up to town and 'doing a show.' "

" The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps. "

" It may be a cliche, but it's true - the build-up to Christmas is so much more pleasurable than the actual day itself. "

" People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial. "

" I have experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from men, but I have also experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from women, usually when I failed to respond to their advances. "

" And call me a pig, but isn't it brilliantly refreshing how early the Dutch eat dinner? When they're still laying out the cutlery in achingly hip Barcelona, they're hanging the Closed sign on the restaurant doors of old Amsterdam. "

" When did women whose looks are not their living start conducting themselves like the simpering inmates of an Ottoman empire seraglio? "

" What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway? "

" Because I was an only, I had more things, and I remember early on the kick I got from giving stuff away. Despite all the myths about only children not being able to share, actually I've never knowingly met a stingy one. "

" I just have a real problem with people who seek to portray fatness or thinness as moral concepts. "

" Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile. "

" Monarchists frequently declare that without the royal family, Britain would be 'nothing.' What a woeful lack of love for one's country such statements express. "

" As I have got older, I have found myself making friends with the ease and swiftness that other people pick up fuzzballs on their jumpers. And I believe it is probably my lack of longing for 'The One' that makes me so popular. "

" Fact is, famous people say fame stinks because they love it so - like a secret restaurant or holiday island they don't want the hoi polloi to get their grubby paws on. "

" People often yearn back to more innocent times, but more and more, as I get older, I find myself hankering after more jaded days. "

" Knowing that the 'Sex and the City' chicks now rack up almost two centuries between them, why do some of us fuss and hiss about a bit of retouching on their forthcoming film poster? "

" Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to 'commit.' "

" It shouldn't come as any surprise that those who choose acting as a profession are phonies who live in a fantasy world. What is surprising is how many of them are blissfully unaware of it. "

" Nicole Kidman in particular seems to bring out the butt-kisser in the sassiest of hackettes, as they ceaselessly strive to portray her as some sort of cross between Mother Teresa and Marilyn Monroe. "

" Sadly, a lot of what passes for feminism these days is just moaning about men, congratulating ourselves on nothing in particular, and mocking them for being big kids while doing everything we can to keep them that way. "