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All Quotes by author - Ben Elton

" And roast beef and Yorkshire pudding is my personal signature dish. "

" Comedy will always be central to what I do, it's just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been. "

" I don't consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother. "

" I don't know what people who I've never met think about me. Some have written horrible things, some have written nice things - but I'm proud of the fact I've remained close to everyone I've ever worked with. "

" I exercise hard and the reason I do is so that I can earn the things I like to consume. "

" If I did things for the money, I'd have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and 'Police Academy 6,' which I was asked to write. "

" I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous. "

" If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven. "

" I loved writing 'Two Brothers' more than anything else I have written. It's the first book I've written that I've always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights. "

" I'm easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring. "

" I'm lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing. "

" I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality. "

" I think trying to be cool is the worst possible ambition - and I have never suffered from it. "

" I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it's a risk worth running. "

" My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they've read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again! "

" My parents were secular. I am an atheist. "

" No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi. "

" People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count. "

" Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them. "

" The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value. "

" There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do. "

" We've all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that's all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it's just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother. "

" Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I'd never used it. I'm 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s. "

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