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All Quotes by author - Benny Hill

" Do unto others, then run. "

" Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand. "

" I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be. "

" I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better. "

" Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect. "

" That's what show business is, sincere insincerity. "

" The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb. "

" Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe. "

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