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All Quotes by author - Greg Giraldo

" If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues. "

" It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always. "

" I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate. "

" Little did I know that earning a living at stand-up is the hardest thing you can do. But once I started doing it, I just loved it, and I realized that I was actually kinda good at it, and then that was it. "

" Some people are just really goofy kind of guitar acts, and they go out and do these colleges and start making a fortune pretty early on. And other people - I know guys who are great comics, who've done the Letterman show many times, who still barely pay their bills. "

" The hardest part, for real, is probably when you just don't feel like going on stage and being funny. "

" The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy. "

" The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude. "

" There are no black people in Iraq, so how will they know who to shoot at? "

" The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn't do it for me either. You just try to be funny. "

" Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET. "

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