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All Quotes by author - Maria Bamford
" Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God's sake. There are people creating things just outside your window. "
Window
God
Live
" I am a wild orchid of comedy, so I can only do well under specific conditions... There are people who I think can do any room, and do stadiums and thousand-seat theaters, and then there are people like me who just perform for my parents. "
Me
People
Think
" I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It's like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I'm doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better. "
Good
Day
Better
" I express things through characters because I have a fear that my own voice is irritating because that's been said to me. "
Voice
Said
Own
" I find it creatively satisfying to write material and say it out loud in a public place, whether or not anyone's listening. "
Find
Listening
Loud
" I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I'm impatient. It's very charming. "
Get
Honor
People
" I have a hard time with interviews, because I'd rather hear about the interviewer. "
Interviews
Time
Hear
" I have received more fulfillment and adulation than I would ever know what to do with in terms of show business. "
Business
Show
More
" I have trouble watching singers because they are so sincere. "
Watching
Because
Trouble
" I like all kinds of comedy. I like comedy that doesn't talk about real beliefs or serious thoughts, but then I also like the stuff that does. I think it just depends. It's a completely personal choice. "
Think
Thoughts
Choice
" I love festivals because they seem like more of an artsy, supportive attitude - which benefits a more theatrical performer sometimes with having theater and other non-club venues, as well as the audience being filled with other artists. It's nice to be with other comics, as usually at other road gigs, I'm solo for the most part. "
Festivals
Nice
Road
" I love support groups, people talking about their feelings. "
Feelings
Support
Love
" I'm sort of shy, and Twitter feels like chatting all day with a group. I like to follow people. I'm following Joel Osteen, Steve Martin, and an anonymous purple egg - just to see where they go with it. "
Egg
Shy
Purple
" I never really thought of myself as depressed so much as paralyzed by hope. "
Hope
Thought
Myself
" In my stand up, I think I try to be less energetic because I feel embarrassed about how much enthusiasm I have. There's something about acting like I don't care, or if I act like I haven't spent enough time on it, it seems to go better. If I act like I'm really trying to sell it, it doesn't go as well. "
Stand
Care
Time
" I think taking vacations and turning off the phone and only doing emails or social media for a specific short amount of time helps with work/life balance. If I'm checking it all day I start to feel cuckoo-bird. So I just do it once or twice a day instead of a thousand. And then remembering that it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. "
Balance
Time
Think
" I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of 'I found this!' and then you can pass it to friends. "
Friends
Experience
People
" I think you can lose yourself in any creative activity - if you enjoy your job or enjoy a task, you can lose yourself in that. "
Think
Creative
Enjoy
" It's always the compliments from people you love that mean so much. "
People
You
Always
" I've learned from my pets that it's okay to sit around, and people don't love you any less if you sit around all the time. In fact they might love you more, 'cos they always know where you're always going to be: you're always going to be laying in bed. "
People
Know
Bed
" I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you're cold, or that you're suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later. "
You
Listen
People
" People get really irritated by mental illness. "
Mental Illness
People
Illness
" Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices. "
Doing
Schizophrenia
Voices
" Some of my friends and family have tried to challenge me to do jokes that aren't as self-deprecating, where I genuinely express my own opinion in my own voice. "
Friends And Family
Family
Challenge
" The Internet makes everything much less mysterious. "
Everything
Internet
Much
" When I'm up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it the way I want them to. "
Way
Half
Joke
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