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All Quotes by author - Patrice O'Neal

" I am that guy who will say things that people seem to think is a little edgy, a little racy. "

" I don't go to any sexy places to eat where they give you half a lamb chop and one bean. I like going, 'Uhhh, I'm done' when I eat. "

" I like to be loved or hated - I don't like mediocre. So I'd rather have the entire crowd hate me than to have 90% hate me. "

" I'm a big buffet dude, or I'm a big cheap-food-and-order-more-when-I-need-it dude. "

" I'm a decent cook, and I will try to cook anything. My only weakness is that I don't know servings - I only know how to make a lot. "

" I'm a slave to the culture, so I see an Audi, a Denali, or an Escalade, my neighbor got the four-door Porsche. I have a really nice truck. But it's a Durango and I like frontin'! I like to ride by and show off. "

" I'm a thigh-meat dude. Thigh is just the best meat - I don't get chicken breast. I think it's a publicity stunt that we've convinced people it's delicious. "

" I need a little bass and I don't even need that crazy bass to break your face. I just want it to sound good when I have my favorite song. "

" I've still got that little freedom part of me that wants to have a car that looks really sexy. "

" Just making the crowd laugh is not really doing things for me anymore. That's just knowing how to kill; I've learned how to kill - but also learned when a crowd's laughter is meaningful. "

" Not everybody should be laughing at everything at the same time. That's not even natural. My thing is to feel natural, because I don't want to feel like I could just make people laugh at every single joke, every single time, with the same decibel level. "

" People have tried to corner the market on being offended, corner the market on language and corner the market on opinion. Should I lose my job 'cause I offended somebody? No, of course not. Your life should never be affected by public opinion. "

" The case is I talk for a living, so I should be able to say anything I want to say regardless of how you feel. What we're starting to deal with now is your opinion matters, but to be quite honest, your opinion means nothing. "

" Who has connections to Connecticut? That's where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods. "

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