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All Quotes by author - S. J. Perelman

" Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck. "

" He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it. "

" I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse. "

" I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again. "

" Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. "

" Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring. "

" The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are. "

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