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" All in all, we Muslims have only two holidays, and they're always getting moved around from season to season, from month to month, because we're dependent on the moon and not the sun, and unlike the Jews, we haven't created a leap year, so we have no Adar Bet. "

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" Sometimes I wonder: What are the children thinking? And sometimes I wonder why the hell I'm not buying a tree like the other neighbors. After all, there is no mention in Christianity of Christmas trees, and even if there were - is there any good reason why I shouldn't be buying some red stockings? "

Sayed Kashua

Good

Children

Red

" I always envied them, the owners of the cars with the white plates who can be seen around Jerusalem. I always wanted to be one of them. We call them U.N., even though U.N. are generally foreign correspondents with leased cars and yellow plates. "

" I can never get to sleep without a book. "

" To be critical of television is almost like questioning the fact of God's existence. "

Sayed Kashua

Television

God

" When was the last time an Arab MK who appeared on television wasn't there in the role of the accused who is attacked by a skeptical broadcaster? "

" I couldn't lie anymore to my kids telling them that they are equal citizens in the state of Israel. They cannot be equal because in order to fit in and to be accepted and to be a citizen in Israel, you need a Jewish mother. "

" I wish I could be proud of being an Israeli citizen, but how can I do that when I'm not really recognized as a full citizen? "

" A lot of my friends in my student days complained about how their parents made them play an instrument when they were kids. I always felt compassion for them and didn't believe a parent could be so cruel, but when I check today, those complaining friends grew up to be quite successful, and many of them are now making their children play. "

" I'm always sad when Dad doesn't like my columns. He waits for them every week and usually likes them, in which case he doesn't say a word - it's only if he's critical that he bothers to call. "

Sayed Kashua

Always

Only

" Somehow, the rare trips to Tel Aviv give me the feeling that I have a career. "

" The truth is, I never travel without cash. I always take a few tens with me in case of an emergency. There's never been an emergency, and in time, I realized that Americans don't want to touch customers' dirty bills. They also don't want to touch your credit card: you have to put it through the machine yourself, with your own fingers. "

" Maybe I would go back to West Jerusalem without too much bother if I could lie to my kids and tell them they are equal citizens in a democratic state. "

" When there's a revolution in Egypt, you can't really get depressed about not knowing what happens after you die. When there are millions out on the streets, that's not the time to start panicking about contracting swine flu. "

" 'Arab Labor' was light, snappy. We got emotional over things, but from a safe place, from the terrace. "

" Thanksgiving is the only day of the year when most of the stores here are closed during the day and reopen after midnight. Even restaurants shut down for the holiday, except for the fast-food chains. "

" I conduct all my nighttime activities under the assumption that my wife is awake, that she never falls asleep. "

" If there was genuine desire on the Israeli side, even without a solution, it would be possible to solve a large percentage of the problems between Israelis and Palestinians by means of simple statements from the Israelis. "

" The smell of onion is the most effective thing for relieving stinging eyes irritated by tear gas. "

" I hate it when I have to abandon my children. I politely turn down most of the invitations I get from abroad and try to fly only when it's absolutely necessary. "

" My children don't even know who Fairuz is - a horrifying thought. "

" After five years of marriage, she is still the most beautiful and attractive woman in the world. "

" When Jewish youths walk down the street and demand the death of Arabs simply because they're Arabs, then I've lost my own small battle. "

" How I'd like to start a new life in a distant land. Not because of racism or politics. But to be in a place that I knew hardly anything about, in a place where I wouldn't even care to know the prime minister's name. A place where names and faces would have no meaning for me. "

Sayed Kashua

Start

Life

" It's the friends that make you survive this flat place called the Midwest. "

" Sometimes I think that if we have to go back, then it certainly won't be to Jerusalem. Not to the Jerusalem beset with racism that we left at the height of the last Gaza war. "

Sayed Kashua

War

Back

" Well, you can't say you are lucky to live in Champaign, but I was lucky to be at the University of Illinois. It's a very international cosmopolitan community. That's very helpful. "

" I began to write, believing that all I had to do to change things would be to write the other side, to tell the stories that I heard from my grandmother. "

" They're completely American. When I served my son falafel in a pita the other day, he said, 'Daddy, this taco is very good.' "

" Many Israelis are educating their kids in a very nationalist, powerful identity, since kindergarten - and the Arabs as well. "

" I once wrote that the first week in Jerusalem was the hardest week of my life. I was different, other; my clothes were different, as was my language. All of the classes were in Hebrew - science, bible, literature. I sat there not understanding one word. When I tried to speak, everyone would laugh at me. "

Sayed Kashua

My Life

Laugh