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" Any woman I know can smell a boyfriend a mile away. Women are intuitive: they know when a guy is interested but he's not going to be there for her in that boyfriend-y way. "
Julie Klausner
Woman
Women
Way
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" In all seriousness, I don't get people who need to make a proposal a bigger deal than marriage already is. "
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" This is not what anyone wants to hear, just like somebody who wants to lose weight doesn't want to hear 'diet and exercise,' but I think giving yourself time and abstaining from interaction is the only way to get over somebody. "
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" The kind of boy's club I'm used to? It is definitely not a jock-y, frat-y kind of thing. They say, 'I'm sensitive and nerdy,' but actually, it's like, 'You're a huge child and you're terrified of women, but you don't like sports, so you think that makes you less of a misogynist.' "
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" I think Joan Rivers is such an untapped legend that people just don't appreciate, because they grew up with her on QVC, or they grew up with her on E!, or they grew up watching her do the things that in their minds the more prestigious comics wouldn't have taken or done. "
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" There are good intentions behind many people's conversion to veganism, including an admirable devotion to the well-being of animals and a justified skepticism about the crap the USDA allows manufacturers to put in our food. But it's hard to ignore the often sanctimonious nature of what some nutritionists view as an 'extremist' way of eating. "
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" I think of basset hounds whenever I turn on my computer because I have photos of them. And if I'm lucky, and I see one on the street, I know it's going to be a good day. They really are like a four-leaf clover. "
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" Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically. "
Julie Klausner
Cabaret
Format
You
" I think feeling responsible for stuff that goes wrong is an inherent part of being female. "
Julie Klausner
Feeling
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Responsible
" I don't make money doing my podcast. I've learned that people want to hire creative people who are already doing something when they approach them. "
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" I think when it comes to women who write or who fancy ourselves 'hip downtown literati', there is a certain contempt for being overly sexual or really looking for boyfriends. We tend to be marginalized as some 'Sex & The City' Carrie Bradshaw chick-lit dummies who just want shoes and a ring. "
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Think
" When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do. "
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You
Jokes
Giving
" Every once in awhile you get encouragement, or you get something that isn't competitive or guilt-inducing from your peers, and it just turns a little light on. It makes it so the work that you do isn't isolating and horrible. There are people who make your life and your work better, and that's something I'm incredibly grateful for. "
Julie Klausner
Work
Grateful
Life
" As far as my memory being reliable, at the risk of sounding like some sort of gorgeous two-headed monster with the voices of Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck, I do think that women, like elephants, remember everything and love peanuts. "
Julie Klausner
Think
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" I have never been one for musicians. I know girls are supposed to go crazy for frontmen who close their eyes when they sing and nod their heads when the drums kick in, but I'm like Shania Twain with that stuff: That don't impress me much. I'll take wit and brains over the ability to carry a tune any day. "
Julie Klausner
Crazy
Know
Day
" The only thing that's a challenge for me is not working. I get depressed when I'm not in motion. "
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Working
Motion
Only
" I really love 'Real Housewives.' It's like the, you know, comedy stuff that's, like, intentionally funny. Like, I love 'Nathan for You,' that Comedy Central show. It's just brilliant. My friend Bill Eichner has a show called 'Billy on the Street' that I write for, and even if I didn't write for it, I'd still love it. "
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Comedy
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" If you are making money writing, you are doing great. If you can support yourself writing, you are a success. I don't care if you're writing textbooks or Pulitzer Prize-winning articles for weighty publications of world renown: If you're writing and it's paying the bills, consider yourself a successful writer. "
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Great
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Support
" I'm always excited when I make it on anyone's list - even if it's for affirmative action. My attitude is, 'Am I the token woman on this list? Because I'll take it.' "
Julie Klausner
Attitude
Always
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" The modern model of misogyny has to do with marginalizing people who are sexual and thinking of them as dumb, or not serious, or not cool or tweedy enough to take seriously, for fear of seeming like one of the guys from 'Jersey Shore.' The sex is so much more present in sexism than, I think, ever before. "
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" Here is how you meet women: You tell the girls you are friends with - the ones in relationships - that you want a girlfriend. You shouldn't even have to say 'Set me up' or 'Introduce me!' If they're good girls, they'll get the hint. "
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Me
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Women
" You have to tell guys to ask you on a date. Smile when you do it - however that works, I'm not 'Cosmo.' But yeah - not a lot of people know how to 'court' anymore, sorry. "
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Smile
Sorry
Tell
" I have nothing snarky to say about Joan Rivers' appearance. We should all be that happy with how we look on camera, frankly. "
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Happy
Camera
Appearance
" Frances McDormand is my favorite actor. I don't know if that's relevant. But she's a person who plays people. In other words, not everything has to be an over-the-top Broadway musical to get my attention, but it certainly helps. "
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" I'm always suspicious when a guy takes his date on a walk, because it reeks of poverty and an inability to plan. "
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" Babies, babies, babies! They're everywhere, aren't they? In our eyes, in our thoughts, in our arms, in our dreams. Sometimes, in our dreams, they are riding alpacas or juggling tacos - but that doesn't mean those dreams are necessarily about babies. Look, I'm not Freud. "
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Look
Dreams
Eyes
" Why can't science work on making women more entitled in general? Or at least get us to listen to those L'Oreal ads that tell us how we're worth it? "
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" I'm at the point, frankly, where I'd rather deal with a misogynist with a copy of Tucker Max's book in his backpack over someone in sensitive emo-boy clothing, because both are misogynists, only the one with the backpack is more honest about just how scared of women he is. "
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" So, things aren't clicking with this sweet guy who keeps calling you. So what? Things like chemistry and fate and all the rest actually exist. You don't need to flip out if you're seeing a guy who's really nice to you and you're not attracted to him. It doesn't have to necessarily be because he's nice to you and you hate yourself. "
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Rest
Sweet
Yourself
" I wish podcasting was my only job - I have more fun doing that than I have doing absolutely anything else. But my job is that I'm a writer. "
Julie Klausner
I Wish
Doing
Fun
" I would love to interview Michael McKean and his wife, who wrote the songs for 'A Mighty Wind,' which is my favorite Christopher Guest movie. I'm just a sucker for any funny guy that has a wife who is intelligent and that he collaborates with. "
Julie Klausner
Wife
Wind
Funny