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" But I remember we sold nearly 18,000 records in one day. "

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" I mean in recent years, I think you've only got to sell thirty or forty thousand to get a #1. "

" When we did Top of the Pops for the third time, we decided to do it as a television program here called Come Dancing, which is not as rude as it sounds. "

" As I said, when we needed to move over to rock'n'roll, Sam and Vernon couldn't quite make the shift. So that's when Larry took over on drums, and we needed a bass player. "

" So we used to look for funny songs, and learn them and play them. And we used to play them in pubs. "

" And Roger was crazy with his robots and everything. "

" But mostly, I wrote songs and Viv wrote songs. "

" Eric Clapton always wanted to come out onstage with a stuffed parrot on his shoulder. "

" It was just us lampooning our own peer group, saying, well hey, where did this stuff come from? And where does British guys get to be so good at it suddenly? "

" I suppose we all loved those kind of sci-fi movies where terrible things came out of swamps and came to Mars. And there's usually some poor girl. All the guys are trying to desperately handle levers and saying, go to something or other. "

" I suppose Roger had the license to do anything that fitted the venue. "

" But Dennis was a really solid musician, and we really needed somebody who could play bass like him. "

" Ladies and gentleman, I've suffered for my music, now it's your turn. "

" I used to help Viv with the chords and melodies sometimes. "

" Because Larry, by then, was a drummer, who would sort of get bored and tired, and rather stand up and blow kisses to people. So we needed the bass to sort of drive along. "

" I mean Gorilla was really our first sort of goes at songwriting. "

" In fact, Moon came on tour with us for a bit just before a big festival in Brighton, I think. "

" We weren't by any means like the Grateful Dead or something, who could just roll on and on and on. "

" I wasn't aware that Track Records were interested in the Bonzos. "

" We then took a shortened version of what we'd been doing in the pubs, with the best gags and things like that, out to cabaret clubs and things in the north of England for six weeks. And we became a big success. "

" I see my role in the Bonzos as being the straight man, in many ways. "

" I think most musicians do like to have a laugh. "

" But I mean, again, Zappa's far more musical than the Bonzos ever were. "

" In many ways, Viv and I were the only ones who were really songwriters. "

" But we used to go to flea markets and things, and look for old 78 records that had silly song titles. "

" Larry only ever wrote one song, and he wrote that with Tony Kaye, I think it was, from Yes. "

" We weren't going to play the show-biz game, and be obsequious. "