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" Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception. "

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" I always feel over-appreciated but underestimated. "

" Your whole life is on the other side of the glass. And there is nobody watching. "

" Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore. "

" Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now? "

" I don't believe in private education. "

" We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off. "

" Closing a public library is child abuse, really, because it hinders child development. "

" We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules. "

" Full-blooded romantic love I wouldn't be able to write about. "

" I write plays about things that I can't resolve in my mind. I try to root things out. "

" Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key. "

" I do not long for the world as it was when I was a child. I do not long for the person I was in that world. I do not want to be the person I am now in that world then. None of the forms nostalgia can take fits. I found childhood boring. I was glad it was over. "

" I have no nickname, as there has never been any need for one. "

" Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have. "

" I'm more socialist certainly than New Labour - I'm very old Labour, really. "

" Those who have known the famous are publicly debriefed of their memories, knowing as their own dusk falls that they will only be remembered for remembering someone else. "

" My films are about embarrassment. "

" I've never seen the point of the sea, except where it meets the land. The shore has a point. The sea has none. "

" I can't complain that I've had a public all through my writing life, but people don't quite know what I've written. People don't read you too closely. Perhaps, after I've died, they'll look at my stuff, and read it through, and find there's more in it. That may be wrong, but that's what I comfort myself with. "

" The bits I most remember about my school days are those that took place outside the classroom, as we were taken on countless theatre visits and trips to places of interest. "

" Life is generally something that happens elsewhere. "

" I always like to break out and address the audience. In 'The History Boys', for instance, without any ado, the boys will suddenly turn and talk to the audience and then go back into the action. I find it more adventurous doing it in prose than on the stage, but I like being able to make the reader suddenly sit up. "