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" Comedy is not funny. Comedy is hard work and timing and lots and lots of rehearsals. "

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" It always annoys me when stars grumble about fans coming up to them in the street. I love it. These young stars today with all their airs and graces, they need to remember it is an honour and a privilege to make money from acting. How hard is it? "

" My television and movie career has also taken me all over the world. I've had great times in the Far East, Russia, South America and Sweden - where I met my wife of 55 years, Maj. "

" I don't watch a lot of television. Sports and news, that's it. "

" Well yes so far, I was recently in Germany and they had me do six book signings a day and that was too much so I had them cut it down to about three. It becomes taxing at times but its a lot of fun and you meet a lot of nice people. "

" I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to be anywhere. I'm not kidding. "

" At that time I was making the largest salary known on television and I didn't want to see it die because those were the years paying off when I wasn't making anything. "

" I admit the last couple of years shows were not up to par. "

" I've travelled a huge amount, but almost all of it has been through work. I spent five years stationed in London in the special services of the American Air Force, producing and directing shows for the troops, which I absolutely loved. "

" I was born with success. Lucky for me I am able to handle it. Also, I damn well deserve it! "

" It's my firm intention to whop cancer into submission and I truly believe I've given myself the best start possible by radically overhauling my diet and by staying true to my motto, which is: Don't worry, be happy, feel good. The first thing I did when I was diagnosed was to turn vegan. "

" But there is no withdrawal, but with tobacco there is terrible withdrawal, it is almost impossible for a lot of people. I did, I went cold turkey, they never had any patches in those days but grass was not difficult, alcohol not difficult, but tobacco - oh my god. "

" I think they could of recast the children, I heard of people wanting to do something like that. That would be a nice little show to do but you know that show was of the 80's, I don't think the audience mind set is in that direction any longer. "

" I did successfully kick tobacco at the age of 34. I smoked for like 20 years, from 14 to 34. "

" If I really had to pinpoint my happiest days out of the United States, I'd choose those Fifties military days in Britain, particularly my time in South Ruislip. I had a ball. "

" You know Hollywood is a weird and wonderful place, I didn't know I Dream of Jeanie had been cancelled after 5 years until I went back to go on the lot to pick up some clothes and things I had in my dressing room. "

" I never travel without my Stetson, but the more I wear it the more I realise that no one wears hats any more. When I was a kid everybody wore hats, especially in Texas, but I get off the plane in Dallas now and I'm the only guy with a hat. It's amazing. "

" I have this wonderful personal chef who sources and stocks all my organic produce and I basically live on five smoothies a day. I'm totally vegan. I blend this green concoction with kale, cucumber, broccoli, string beans, avocado. My protein comes from protein powder. There is absolutely no milk, butter, cheese. "

" When we started the show, 'Dallas' was known as the city where JFK was assassinated. By the end it was known as JR's home town. "

" Well, I decided to stop. And I did. I stopped smoking, and I stopped speed at the same time. "

" I'm sure it is, I'm not for any kind of war, we've been engaged in several wars since the second world war and we lost in Korea, we lost in Vietnam, they are political wars, they have nothing to do with any real threat, nor does this one. "

" I think JR would make a better President than the one we have now. "

" I barely watch TV apart from the news. Most of it is rubbish. There's all this reality nonsense and dross. I think there's a market for a well-produced, well-written melodrama like 'Dallas.' It's pure entertainment. "

" No no there wasn't any planned 14th season, we all saw the writing on the wall. The ratings had been going down and so fourth, that curve goes on every show and in everybody's life. "

" Barbara Eden is the most beautiful girl in the world. "

" I'd like to play Matt Damon's daddy. He's a wonderful actor, I really admire him, and I'd like to play his dad one day. "

" My definition of a redundancy is an air-bag in a politician's car. "

" Don't you find that the more you know, the more you don't know and can't ever learn because there's too much stuff out there? "

" If you do your research on hot springs all over the world, they're usually places of peace. People, even in warring nations and so forth, they'll go and live in peace together around the hot springs, which were always considered medicinal. I firmly believe in water therapy. "

" I liked Dallas better because it was more deceptive, you could do more with it. "

" Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. "