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" Don't appear so scholarly, pray. Humanize your talk, and speak to be understood. "
" It's true Heaven forbids some pleasures, but a compromise can usually be found. "
" People don't mind being mean; but they never want to be ridiculous. "
" A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation. "
" He who follows his lessons tastes a profound peace, and looks upon everybody as a bunch of manure. "
" A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house. "
" Some of the most famous books are the least worth reading. Their fame was due to their having done something that needed to be doing in their day. The work is done and the virtue of the book has expired. "
" It is a strange enterprise to make respectable people laugh. "
" Oh, I may be devout, but I am human all the same. "
" I feed on good soup, not beautiful language. "
" Every good act is charity. A man's true wealth hereafter is the good that he does in this world to his fellows. "
" Ah! how annoying that the law doesn't allow a woman to change husbands just as one does shirts. "
" One ought to look a good deal at oneself before thinking of condemning others. "
" Reason is not what decides love. "
" A learned fool is more a fool than an ignorant fool. "
" True, Heaven prohibits certain pleasures; but one can generally negotiate a compromise. "
" Of all follies there is none greater than wanting to make the world a better place. "
" I prefer a pleasant vice to an annoying virtue. "
" I have the fault of being a little more sincere than is proper. "
" It is the public scandal that offends; to sin in secret is no sin at all. "
" Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive. "
" Books and marriage go ill together. "
" Love is often the fruit of marriage. "
" Oh, how fine it is to know a thing or two. "
" We die only once, and for such a long time. "
" It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do. "
" No matter what Aristotle and the Philosophers say, nothing is equal to tobacco; it's the passion of the well-bred, and he who lives without tobacco lives a life not worth living. "
" The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. "
" As the purpose of comedy is to correct the vices of men, I see no reason why anyone should be exempt. "
" There are pretenders to piety as well as to courage. "
" I live on good soup, not on fine words. "