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" Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them. "

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" I don't drink water, haven't drank water in 40 years. "

" At home I have a copy of the April 21, 1986, issue of 'Sports Illustrated.' I'm on the cover with the blurb, 'Can Lou Do It?' I'd just arrived at Notre Dame, and with spring football underway, I was the focal point of that week's coverage. "

" If you try to fight the course, it will beat you. "

" Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the trade-off they're making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that's the difference. "

" ESPN is a great organization to work for. "

" Coaching is nothing more than eliminating mistakes before you get fired. "

" I feel that God wants me to coach; otherwise, he wouldn't have put the desire in me. "

" When I left the University of Notre Dame, I honestly felt I would never coach again. "

" We have an obligation to help people that cannot help themselves. The mentally retarded, the physically retarded, et cetera. "

" My wife told me if there is any rumors about me, it better be about politics and not about my social life. "

" When I die, and people realize that I will not be resurrected in three days, they will forget me. That is the way it should be. "

" I never learn anything talking. I only learn things when I ask questions. "

" Nothing on this earth is standing still. It's either growing or it's dying. No matter if it's a tree or a human being. "

" I'm no genius. "

" When the bank asks me about my assets, I include my friendship with Regis Philbin. "

" I don't think there's been anything in the game of football in my lifetime that has changed college football more than redshirting. "

" After winning, most teams become individuals; most teams become complacent. "

" Virtually nothing is impossible in this world if you just put your mind to it and maintain a positive attitude. "

" I look at athletes in all sports and try to picture what kind of football player they'd be, what position they'd play and so on. "

" If you burn your neighbors house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. "

" I'm so old, I don't buy green bananas any more. "

" If you're bored with life - you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals. "

" I was raised in a religious environment, and my wife is one of the more religious people that I have ever known. "

" I truly believe the things Notre Dame stands for. "

" Don't run if you can walk. Don't walk if you can stand. Don't stand if you can sit. Don't sit if you can lie down. "

" In football, it's the job of the player to play, the coach to coach, the official to officiate. Each guy is charged with upholding his end, nothing more. In golf, the player, coach and official are rolled into one, and they overlap completely. Golf really is the best microcosm of life - or at least the way life should be. "

" No matter what happens on the field, getting an education makes you a winner. "

" I believe - we all pay taxes. I'm happy to pay it, but I hate to have it abused, money wasted, no accountability. That's going to bother you. "

" God looks after children, animals and idiots. "

" I have to admit, I sometimes wonder how much more successful I would have been as a coach had it not been for my spending summers on the golf course. I could have watched more film, that's for sure. One advantage Joe Paterno had over me was that he didn't play golf. "