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" Every day, I wanna work on being a better person, not just to others but to myself. "

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" When you're being mean to someone, you can feel the audience just get cold. "

" Ever since I was really little, I started doing a - I don't know how to put this - mentally challenged person on my street. I meant no harm by it, but I remembered how this person talked, and I did it for my mom, and she was not into it. She said, 'You can't do that!' But my dad really laughed. "

" I don't like watching shows where all of a sudden you're like, what happened? They shot the last season in Las Vegas? "

" I feel really lucky to get to do comedy, and music, at all. I want to do as much as I can. "

" When I'm hungry, I need to eat right away. "

" Talking Heads were a big influence on my comedy. For David Byrne, every album had to be different. With 'Portlandia,' every season has to be different. You gotta reinvent the look, all of it. "

" Sometimes in Portland I'm like, 'Who is funding this city?' It's doing great - there's all these new shops; there's a synthesizer store. Where is this coming from? "

" When I used to see Rick Moranis do something, to me that was immediately funny. Or George Carlin or Martin Lawrence. "

" Bill Hader does a really good impression of me. "

" I get very, very little sleep. "

" I've always been a fan of instructional videos. The bass-player ones are insane. The music on them is fascinating. It's not something you hear on CDs or would really ever play in bands. You listen to it and are like, 'What is happening?' It's this blizzard of notes in weird time signatures, and they're trying to teach you that. "

" James Franco has turned his life into a real art project. In my opinion, that's the way to live. "

" My showbiz career started with 'SNL,' and to write an 'SNL' book... well, there are already enough of those. "

" My father came from Germany. My mom came from Venezuela. My father's culturally German, but his father was Japanese. I was raised in New York and spent two years in Rio. My parents met at the University of Southern Mississippi, and they had me there, and then we moved to New York. I'm not very familiar with Mississippi. "

" When you're in a band, you spend most of your time in a van. Like, there were four of us, we toured all the time, and you're stuck looking at three other people for a month straight. And all of those times, we all just liked making fun of people, doing impressions of people, coming up with songs. "

" I really loved touring with my band, but it felt like we would spend a lot of time playing in empty rooms - empty clubs. We had some good successes, but it's so physically hard to load up a van and drive all day. "

" Before 'SNL,' I would do stand-up, opening for Jeff Tweedy. It was worse than bombing in that people were dead silent. "

" If something seems like a little venue, don't treat it like that. Do it all. If you're sort of wondering why you're doing something at some location, just do it - any size theater, production, or whatever. It's all helpful. "

" There are people who are genetically made to start record labels, and I'm not one of those people. People just have it in their blood and are good at it. Corey Rusk from Touch and Go and Ian MacKaye. These are people who have made their own labels. "

" I've met Tony Danza. He was really nice. And he looks... I feel like he hasn't aged. He looks exactly the same. He's just Tony Danza. He's exactly the same as he's always been. "

" There's something really easy and just somehow un-crowded about the Portland airport. Every time I go there I'm like, 'Why is this so easy and sweet?' "

" I think Ian MacKaye is everything that I always wanted to be. "

" My favorite album is 'Ram' by Paul and Linda McCartney. "

" I actually, legitimately feel that I'm not busy enough. I want to be so busy that it's overwhelming. "

" I work better when I'm juggling projects. Nothing worse than watching someone really embrace what they're doing if they love it too much. "

" I can only parody stuff I love. "

" I learned at 'SNL' that it's a bummer to bum people out. "

" There's no judgment on bands that continue on who aren't popular; some people get enjoyment out of it. I'm just not one of those people. "

" I feel like Miami is way, way too hot. "

" I'm not by nature a cynical person. But sometimes your expectations are different from reality. "