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" Everyone's life would be improved if they do could one great magic trick. And tell one great joke, play one tune on the piano, and do one great origami fold. "

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" There's this perception sometimes around here that I'm this Hollywood guy. "

" It's an old Elizabethan idea. The fool is the only one who is allowed to make fun of the king because he is a fool. I can say whatever I want about anybody else because I'm just an idiot talking - I'm not insisting that I'm any smarter than anyone else. It's satire. "

" Did I run real swindles? Oh, yeah. I mean, I started as a - on the street. I did not begin as a performer. I began running the shell game. "

" I did a film called 'The Escape Artist' for Francis Coppola. I had the title role. "

" As I grow older and I don't run so fast, I'm not so eager to get myself in situations where I'm going to have to run. "

" Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it won't keep the wise from trying. "

" But I'm very thankful that no one is slamming my head against the wall anymore. "

" I created this character that I still have of a guy who is a little bit of a nincompoop - I'm poking fun at street hustlers. I didn't quite make as much money as one would gambling, but it was a lot safer. "

" I did rough hustling, what they call 'playing against the wall.' I just played myself with the players, so I would pay; I would make them shill. I would pay certain players and then take from others. "

" The biggest challenge in New Orleans has been to find workers who can climb a ladder after lunch. "

" Chicago is a big town for magicians and card hustlers. So when I was very young, a fellow sat me down and taught me the Three-Card Monte. And that kind of put me in a - pointed me towards easy money. "

" I'm not Hollywood. I'm a Quarter Rat. I belong here. "

" Somebody saw me on 'Cheers' and thought that I was an actor playing a part as opposed to a guy just doing what he knew. And they gave me 'Night Court.' And by the time they realized I wasn't an actor, I had already signed a five-year contract. "

" There is no magic. There are only magicians. "

" We treated all of the dead with dignity. "

" I'll give it a shot. But I don't know that a year from now I'm going to be here. Nobody does. "

" In 'Night Court,' my name is still Harry, and I'm - my best friends are still three-card monte workers, and I still have spring snakes hidden everywhere and joy buzzers, but I'm the judge. "

" If you do sleight of hand without trying to cheat someone, that's what magic is. "

" I am richer than Davy Crockett. I can settle back and do what I want to do. And what I want to do is card tricks and magic. "

" I don't know how long anything is going to last, so I have to make sure I have something to do tomorrow. "

" I used to make my living by understanding people. And the way I learned to understand them was by observing them. I would sit in a train station or a bus station or a restaurant. And I would watch people. I would watch how they related to one another. I would try to get some insight into them and make them as predictable as I could in my mind. "

" Is now the time to legalize prostitution? "