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" Football is like life and I know life. "

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" Standards are declining left and right, and it doesn't matter. It's whatever is necessary to prop up Obama. "

" We want everybody to succeed. You know why? We want the country to succeed, and for the country to succeed, its people - its individuals - must succeed. "

" Obama isn't just too big to fail. He's too big to know. Obama is so vital to the country and to the world, he must be kept out of the loop in order to save him from his failed presidency. "

" If you commit a crime, you're guilty. "

" The media is a like any other group of people. Their universe is all that matters. "

" George W. Bush attended the intelligence briefing every day. Obama has not even attended half of them. He sends surrogates. That to me is significant. "

" Journalists should have been the first to tell people what Obamacare would mean to them. They are now the last to figure all of this out. "

" What is Obamacare doing? It's destroying the only kind of plans people without insurance ever get. And nobody seems to be noticing except the people who are being canceled and then can't find a replacement because it's too expensive. "

" Republicans and Democrats are obsessed with making sure that illegal aliens are granted citizenship. The American people are not. They're concerned about jobs, the economy, debt. They're concerned about a plundering country. They're concerned about a decaying, dying country. "

" Barack Obama's enemies are the people who make this country work. Barack Obama's enemies are those who succeed. Those are the people whose income he wants to redistribute. Those are the people whose income he wants to take, using the power and the force of the federal government to do it. "

" No matter what else is going on, Christmas is my all-time favorite period in the year. It has a positive effect on me like very little else does, seasonally, that is. "

" Did you know that the White House drug test is multiple choice? "

" Even when I think I'm wrong I'm right. I am all-knowing. "

" Scandals never stop an administration unless the media wants them to stop an administration, which means that no scandal is ever gonna stop Obama. "

" People are pursuing happiness, but they're pursuing things that will never, ever make them happy, and they don't know that. They've got a distorted view of what will make them happy, what happiness is, and it's based on what they see on television. "

" The message that President Obama delivered in his speech at Notre Dame was: morality is immoral. Pro-life is the extremist position, not a moral position. Yet we should compromise and work to reduce abortions. Where's the compromise between life and death - and why work to reduce the number of them occurring if there's nothing wrong with them? "

" Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream. "

" This Obamacare program has Obama's name on it. He lied to people for three years about this program. People trusted him. People believed what he told them. They believed that he was going to improve the health care system in this country, and it was going to get cheaper, more affordable, more plentiful. "

" Most people's historical perspective begins with the day of their birth. "

" Enraging liberals is simply one of the more enjoyable side effects of my wisdom. "

" The Republicans ought to be nowhere near trying to help Obama save his bacon. But they don't think that's what they're doing, I'm convinced. You talk about trauma and the need for therapy, I really think that the Republicans have been genuinely psychologically traumatized by decades of media criticism. "

" Sorry to interrupt myself, but it's the only way I stop talking. "

" Everybody assumes I know everything, so they send me these notes sometimes, and I don't know what they're talking about. "

" The administration is out lying through its teeth about all these people signing up and how great Obamacare is now. Meanwhile, Obama continues to break the law each and every day with executive actions - not even executive orders, executive actions - and proclamations. "

" I've always believed in the old-fashioned way: When you've got scoundrels in office, you vote 'em out. "

" Folks, the most insidious part of this whole health care scheme is that all of these vast medical expenditures will become nothing more than government budget items. We individuals will no longer exist. The relationship between a government and citizen will change forever. "

" I want a great country. I want people happy. "

" After the Republican Party did everything that Colin Powell says it needs to do to grow, and nominated the very kind of candidate he wanted in 2008, what did Powell do? He endorsed Obama! So according to the Drive-Bys and David Gergen, Republicans should let somebody who campaigned and voted for Obama, tell us how to build our party. "

" It is Barack Obama who is at war with this country. Recent events prove it. This is not a cliche. It's not a figure of speech. Obama is at war with the U.S. economy. "

" The way the Democrats go about seeking equality is to lower people at the top. "