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" For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies. "

Laurence Sterne

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" One may as well be asleep as to read for anything but to improve his mind and morals, and regulate his conduct. "

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" Keyholes are the occasions of more sin and wickedness, than all other holes in this world put together. "

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" People who are always taking care of their health are like misers, who are hoarding a treasure which they have never spirit enough to enjoy. "

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" Lessons of wisdom have the most power over us when they capture the heart through the groundwork of a story, which engages the passions. "

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" Courtship consists in a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so vague as not to be understood. "

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" What is the life of man! Is it not to shift from side to side? From sorrow to sorrow? To button up one cause of vexation! And unbutton another! "

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" Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest. "

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" But this is neither here nor there why do I mention it? Ask my pen, it governs me, I govern not it. "

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" Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other. "

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" Alas! if the principles of contentment are not within us, the height of station and worldly grandeur will as soon add a cubit to a man's stature as to his happiness. "

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" Only the brave know how to forgive; it is the most refined and generous pitch of virtue human nature can arrive at. "

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" It is a great pity but tis certain from every day's observation of man, that he may be set on fire like a candle, at either end provided there is a sufficient wick standing out. "

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" Titles of honor are like the impressions on coins, which add no value to gold or silver, but only render brass current. "

Laurence Sterne

" When a man is discontented with himself, it has one advantage - that it puts him into an excellent frame of mind for making a bargain. "

Laurence Sterne

" I am persuaded that every time a man smiles - but much more so when he laughs - it adds something to this fragment of life. "

Laurence Sterne

" The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it. "

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" An English man does not travel to see English men. "

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" Of all duties, prayer certainly is the sweetest and most easy. "

Laurence Sterne

" I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me. "

Laurence Sterne

" People who overly take care of their health are like misers. They hoard up a treasure which they never enjoy. "

Laurence Sterne

" In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself. "

Laurence Sterne

" Sciences may be learned by rote, but wisdom not. "

Laurence Sterne

" I take a simple view of life. It is keep your eyes open and get on with it. "

Laurence Sterne

" 'Tis known by the name of perseverance in a good cause, and of obstinacy in a bad one. "

Laurence Sterne

" So much of motion, is so much of life, and so much of joy, and to stand still, or get on but slowly, is death and the devil. "

Laurence Sterne

" When the heart flies out before the understanding, it saves the judgment a world of pains. "

Laurence Sterne

" Only the brave know how to forgive... a coward never forgave; it is not in his nature. "

Laurence Sterne

" Writing, when properly managed, (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation. "

Laurence Sterne

" I once asked a hermit in Italy how he could venture to live alone, in a single cottage, on the top of a mountain, a mile from any habitation? He replied, that Providence was his next-door neighbor. "

Laurence Sterne