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" Guys should not be allowed to use the Internet all day long. So sad. "

Natasha Leggero

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" For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes from them. "

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" My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.' "

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" I have friends who say, 'You just can't understand what it's like to be a mother until you're a mother.' "

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" What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny. "

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" Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes. "

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" Anything you can do to get more people to come to your live shows is good, because that's where you can really do what you do. Everyone's on the same page, and you don't have to win strangers over as much. "

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" In general, comedians are attracted to vice. "

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" There's something grounded about 'Ugly Americans,' so I think it's good that I'm playing a version of myself in these elevated cartoon circumstances. "

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" Doing TV is great, but TV is for starring on, not for watching. "

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" My comedy isn't about being attractive - it's about how the bar of dumb seems so low right now, and I desperately want to raise the bar of dumb just a tiny bit. "

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" I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no. "

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" I do think people are definitely sick of the Kardashians. "

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" The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose. "

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" Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich. "

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" The women's movement ruined a permanent vacation. "

Natasha Leggero

" I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view. "

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" In L.A., you tend to see a lot of people do very bizarre things. I love it. "

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" My friends who have babies can't do anything. You can't go out at night. Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe. "

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" I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one. "

Natasha Leggero

" I always wanted so much glamour in my life, so I have always been obsessed with class, and from dating a few people who were from old money and a few from new money in my 20s, I just sort of became obsessed with this idea of clueless rich people. "

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" The corporations are shoving just the worst music down everybody's throats, and I think the result of that is that nobody has any taste. They have no bar as to what is good. "

Natasha Leggero

" You can always tell an actor by the bored look in their eye whenever someone else is talking. "

Natasha Leggero

" I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress - big difference. "

Natasha Leggero

" Comedy is just one of the many professions that women are taking over. "

Natasha Leggero

" There are some die-hard 'Chelsea Lately' fans, and that's where the majority of my fans come from. Chelsea is really helping make comedy audiences hipper and edgier. "

Natasha Leggero

" I was very lucky when I started doing comedy because I hadn't seen much stand-up. I just got up on stage and did it without thinking. "

Natasha Leggero

" If you look at NBC, two of their most successful shows - '30 Rock' and 'Parks And Rec' - are written by women, produced by women, and I think that's the future. Women are the new men. "

Natasha Leggero

" Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you didn't think were funny. It's important to pay attention also to what people are laughing at when you are just talking in regular conversation. Often that is when you are truly being yourself. "

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" When I was 23, I moved to Australia to be with this 43-year-old con artist I fell in love with. "

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" Coming from the Midwest, I didn't know about stand-up as an art. I just thought stand-up comedians were old men in suits talking about their wives. "

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