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" I can't fathom writers married to writers and musicians married to musicians. There's your enemy in bed beside you. "

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" I never go anywhere without a book for fear of being stuck in line in front of the theater or strapped down in the dentist's chair and being bored witless. Thus, I read everywhere. "

" One of the reasons I've been able to be productive is that I want to do everything. "

" This is why fiction is an art, and life is not - how much more affecting is the lie than the truth. "

" I've never really been met with indifference, where they say, 'Who cares?' I think that's what good art is supposed to do. It's not supposed to make you feel good about your own prejudices and your own values; it's supposed to open you up in some way and get you outraged or make you happy or make you sad or whatever it's going to do. "

" The novel is a seduction; a reader has to be seduced. "

" I'm enslaved to writing to the point where I sacrifice almost everything else. "

" Sometimes, we find common ground; more often, we don't. "

" Every story is organic, and every story finds its own ending. "

" The compulsively readable events of my life occurred mainly in infancy, and it's been pretty humdrum ever since. "

" I tell jokes, and I have fun, but I tend to worry about everybody and everything throughout the entire world. "

" I really like the power of stopping the laughter and turning it to horror. "

" I read widely - for news, the arts, science, for entertainment, and the value of being informed - and, as a fiction writer, I can't help transposing what I learn into the scenario for a novel or story. "

" I am a worrier. I worry about the state of our country, of the world, of our species. Every day seems to deliver a new nail to hammer into our collective coffin. "

" What is your identity, and how do you know who you are if you don't have language? "

" If we lose sight of the fact that writing is entertainment, then writing is doomed. "

" I am mad for nature writing. I want to get inside the head of every creature in the world, even ants. "

" I don't care if the audience is 600 Saul Bellows; I'm going to knock them dead with a comedy routine. I'm out there as a missionary for literature because, if people laugh and enjoy themselves, they might actually do something as bizarre as reading the book. "

" It's true that none of my characters are admirable. But maybe I'm primarily a satirist, and a satirist needs to hold up what's not admirable. "

" My job is to engage, entertain, work out my life, tell a certain truth. "

" Life is tragic and absurd, and none of it has any purpose at all. "

" It's just my natural way - to be funny. I don't know why that is. But as I've said, humor is a quick cover for shock, horror, confusion. The critics hate funny writers for the most part. They think funny is not serious, but I think that funny can be even more serious than nonfunny. And it can be more affecting, too. "

" I think, if I'm doing my job correctly, I'm presenting a scenario for you as the reader to engage with on your own. I mean, that's what the best art is supposed to do. It's not supposed to be political. I think if you read all my books, you know where I stand, pretty much. "

" I can't read novels while I'm writing a novel, because somebody's voice creeps in. "

" Of course all novelists are egomaniacs and want to draw everyone to their fold just like any other preacher. The snake-oil peddler, the false prophet, all of this is fascinating to me. But I certainly hope that I'm more humane than that. "

" I envy Jesus because he's dead. "

" You want, as an artist, to be pushing yourself to do what you haven't done before. "

" I describe myself as an environmentalist not because I'm marching in the street with placards but because I like to be in the woods by myself. "

" I love performing in front of an audience. I like the questions; I like controversy. "

" I worry about everything in the world, and it's just too much for anybody to think about, so I have my art as my consolation. "

" Science has killed religion. There's no hope for the future with seven billion of us on the planet, and the only thing you can do is to laugh in the face of it all. "