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" I could maybe coach kids' basketball. I know enough about basketball where I feel like I could coach 12-year-olds pretty effectively. "
Hannibal Buress
Basketball
Feel
Enough
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" I need to have something else going on. I'm able to write a lot if I have an episode of 'Friday Night Lights' going on my computer. "
Hannibal Buress
Need
Lights
Going
" Actors, you have to wait for people to give you work, or you have to make your own stuff. But standup, I could just say, 'I want to do standup in 30 minutes,' and I can go do standup. Or I could just say, 'I want to do standup in a few weeks in this city.' "
Hannibal Buress
People
Wait
Work
" You forget that sometimes comedy is just a big night out for people. Almost every show, people come up to me and go, 'This is the first comedy show I've ever seen,' so you want to do well. If you do horribly at somebody's first time seeing live stand-up, well, you've not only tainted yourself, you've tainted a whole art form. "
Hannibal Buress
Yourself
Art
Live
" I don't like to post fresh standup material, because I want to use it in a special. The stuff I like to post online I like to be off-the-cuff moments. "
Hannibal Buress
Fresh
Moments
Want
" I like to drive nice cars; since I live in New York, and I don't drive there, it's a novelty to be on the road and drive and listen to my music. "
Hannibal Buress
Road
Drive
Nice
" When people say, 'How did you start in comedy,' I say my family was kidnapped by ninjas when I was very young, and to get them released I had to do a killer five-minute set. And even after I did that, you know, I started doing comedy under tough circumstances, I still kept at it because I enjoyed it. "
Hannibal Buress
Start
Family
You
" I don't seek out love or relationships, just because my schedule is crazy. "
Hannibal Buress
Crazy
Love
Just Because
" I'd like to get more bit-acting roles. I don't know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines. I'd kill it. "
Hannibal Buress
Long
Dialogue
Three
" I did not move to New York with a plan. The first time I moved to New York, I just popped up. My sister was living here in New York. I just popped up. She had her baby and a husband, and I just popped up. 'Hey, what's up? I got $200 and dreams. Let's do this.' "
Hannibal Buress
Time
Dreams
New York
" 'SNL' doesn't have a traditional writer's room. On Monday, there's the pitch meeting with the guest, and I played that like it was stand-up. "
Hannibal Buress
Meeting
SNL
Like
" I didn't audition for 'SNL.' I sent in a tape to 'SNL' the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fallon. "
Hannibal Buress
Started
Writing
Job
" I like getting 'Times' articles online. But the actual paper just has too many words. "
Hannibal Buress
Just
Words
Paper
" I just wear black and gray all the time. If you Google Image me, you'll just see a bunch of black and gray. It's simple. If I like a shirt, I'll buy six or eight of them, wear them back-to-back, and just wait for somebody to say something. 'That's the same shirt you wore yesterday.' 'Yeah, but this one is fresh.' "
Hannibal Buress
Me
You
Wait
" When people go through something rough in life, they say, 'I'm taking it one day at a time.' Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works. "
Hannibal Buress
Life
Time
They Say
" I don't argue with people... if they say I'm not funny, they're right, for them. "
Hannibal Buress
Say
Funny
People
" I just write and do what I think is funny. Sometimes, you do have it in your head about certain bits. There are certain jokes where I know if I did them in certain situations, it would irk people. There are times where I look at the news and see a story going on, and I'm like, 'Wow, if I tweeted this, I would get press if I wanted to.' "
Hannibal Buress
Story
Know
Funny
" I took an improv class in 2005 in Chicago at ComedySportz, which was short-form, more of a games-based improv. I remember it being real fun and helping with my stand-up. If I did an improv class, and then I did stand-up later, I felt looser on stage and more comfortable. "
Hannibal Buress
Fun
Class
Stage
" I like that Barack got that job. "
Hannibal Buress
Like
Got
Job
" I haven't really tried to write a movie. It's tough to get into that mode. "
Hannibal Buress
Get
Really
Tough
" In my hometown of Chicago, I'm kind of a medium deal. "
Hannibal Buress
Deal
Kind
Medium
" Before I did comedy, I'd freestyle with all of my friends. In high school and into college, I recorded songs with my friends, not to perform but just to play for them. So I've had interest in music for a while. Early on, I'd host a lot of music open nights or hip-hop nights, so a lot of my early experience performing was around music. "
Hannibal Buress
Play
College
Music
" I'm in awful shape. I'm trying to get in better shape. My girlfriend, she's in good shape. She gives me health tips sometimes, like, 'Hannibal, you're going to die.' Stuff like that. "
Hannibal Buress
Health
Good
You
" In the future, I want to do an action movie! I'm going to get in shape, get ripped, and have my Chris Pratt transformation. And then become a movie star like that. "
Hannibal Buress
Transformation
Want
Action
" I don't know if I have a 'Greatest Album Ever.' I really liked 'The Blueprint' by Jay-Z. The production on that album was really great. 'All I Need' was the first song I used for walk-on music in 2002 for my second time ever on stage, so that means a lot to me. "
Hannibal Buress
Time
Song
Great
" Even on TV appearances or big shows, I don't know if I've ever been as nervous as I was my first time doing stand-up. I just remember getting offstage and sitting down, and my right knee was just shaking from the adrenaline. "
Hannibal Buress
Remember
Doing
Time
" For me... you know, the most I've paid for a haircut was in Australia. Usually I go to a black barber or a Latino barber. I can't just go into Supercuts. "
Hannibal Buress
Black
You
Me
" Gibberish rap is - I freestyle all the time, just hangin' out with friends. And sometimes when I'm freestyling, I'll lose my flow, you know, but I'll still wanna - I don't wanna just stop rapping because I lose my flow. So I'll just put in nonsense words till I can bring in regular words again. "
Hannibal Buress
Words
Flow
Friends
" I had a sketch called 'Fedora Basketball,' which was about basketball players having to wear hats; in addition to scoring points, they have to make sure their fedoras don't fall off. "
Hannibal Buress
Basketball
Fall
Hats
" I never have written a movie, but there are some bad movies out there. I can make one. I definitely want to get into that because that's how you, at my level, would get a lead in a movie - by writing a low budget thing for myself. So I gotta get to it. "
Hannibal Buress
Writing
Budget
Movies
" I used to have costumed characters come out, like SpongeBob. It's just fun to make it into this minor event, just to surprise people and experiment and be weird and just have fun with it. I've done just the hour stand-up, and that's fun, but the other stuff makes it fun for me and gives me something to react to and bounce off of. "
Hannibal Buress
Me
Fun
Have Fun