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" I do love Instagram, but even if I spend 15 minutes looking at stuff, I feel guilty. "

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" When I was a kid, I loved really loud things. My grandmother and I went to the Fulton Mall, and I bought a three-piece suit that was paisley. Paisley over the whole suit. I was 6 and thought it was great. My mother took a photo of me in it, sent it to my grandmother, and burned the suit. "

" I wrote this 12-page 'Luke Cage' comic book for Marvel once, and I got to create a villain. His name was Lone Shark, so there was this running thing of whether it was spelled L-O-A-N or L-O-N-E. I like the idea of 'I'm a lone shark,' and then people are like, 'You are here to collect a debt?' "

" There are 18,000 police agencies in this country. There's no network requiring them to operate according to the same guidelines. "

" Getting a Grammy nomination for 'Brooklyn' meant a lot, especially because, as an album, it was one that was very personal to me but also one that I self-produced and had gone outside the label. "

" For me, funny is funny, and what's unfortunate is these comedians aren't being allowed to operate in rooms for everybody and that everybody can laugh and say, 'Okay, I find that person funny, and I don't just have to find them funny because they look like me.' "

" Women deal with real issues with policing that don't really get talked about. "

" I think hard work is definitely a huge thing, but there is something, if you want to call it luck or whatever - a window of opportunity - that is totally outside of your control, and it's that thing that will sometimes separate a good career from a great career. "

" I know for myself, every now and again on HBO, they'll show some of the young comedian specials from the '80s and early '90s, and it's just fascinating to watch those comedians - some of whom are people that are world-famous, like Chris Rock or Judd Apatow - to see the jokes that people had, but also, the way everything looked. "

" A lot of the things I do deal with my race, but my race is who I am. I'm an American kid who grew up listening to predominantly hip-hop. I will talk about hip-hop as the music I grew up listening to, and I think sometimes people like to put it as, 'Oh, well, he's talking about black things.' And, yeah, they are, but that's my American identity. "

" I've had shows where, afterwards, people have commented or hoped I would talk more about something in politics or that I would make a joke about Mitch McConnell or something like that. "

" Every impression that I do is just a terrible variation on an awful Bill Cosby impression. You're doing an Australian accent, but it's just Australian Bill Cosby; or that's just British Bill Cosby; that's Pirate Bill Cosby. "

" When I worked on 'The Daily Show,' we had some puppets made of myself, John Oliver, and Jon Stewart. When I left the show, I stole the puppet. I took what was rightfully mine. "

" I remember Tim Meadows gave me a radio. It was a radio he didn't want anymore. I gave it to my grandmother, and she had it 'til the day she died. To me, it was, 'I got a thing from Tim Meadows!' I think my grandmother was like, 'I got a thing from my grandson!' "

" Steven Wright can do Steven Wright very well. Not everyone can do Steven Wright's jokes with the same results. "

" I think, with any topical show, it's very easy to find yourself caught up in the news cycle, and working at 'The Daily Show,' I definitely found myself in that, where we would be talking about the last 24 hours. "

" I wrote for 'King of the Hill' for three seasons. "

" I was arrested when I was 19 for inciting a riot. "

" Everybody has a stake in the story of policing. "

" There are certain things that you can blast through a stereo. You can blast hip-hop. You can blast heavy metal. You can't blast 'All Things Considered.' "

" If you have a car, you tune it up; you replace the parts. You try to keep it in good shape. This country has tires that are shot, a bunch of engine problems, and rather than saying, 'Okay, let's maybe put some new parts in here,' we just keep putting gas in and driving forward. "

" At 'The Daily Show,' we were satirizing a news program. You put somebody in a suit, you put 'em behind a desk, and they become an authority figure. "

" What's sad is that we can have a reality-television performer for president without incorporating the other aspects of reality television - like voting and voter engagement. "

" We all live with contradictions. "

" I enjoy 'Life Aquatic.' I think that one, from a visual standpoint, is just such a fun, visual movie to look at, whether it's the shots of the ship cut down the middle, that set where you can see everyone in each of their rooms doing whatever and moving about - something like that, I could watch that on a loop for an hour. "

" I feel like I've seen a lot of talented people, and some have gone on to great things, and some have gone on to successful careers and done alright but without great amounts of fame and recognition. "

" I think, with these shows, with 'Last Week Tonight,' with 'Full Frontal,' I think, as these shows have evolved, we all have research departments now. "

" The thing that I'm known for - at least, depending on what Subreddit you go to - is being a comedian. And so, even when talking about heavy things, I still want to try to use humor to walk us in the door. "

" When you put comedy in the room it's supposed to be in, you start learning it's a process. Not everything is a home run. You have singles, and you ground a few out. But ultimately, it's the journey you have with that comedian, whether it's ten minutes or an hour. "

" I just hate the Internet. "

" I feel like you can't trust a cat. I feel like a cat's got an ulterior motive. The moment you show any weakness to a cat, the cat is gonna take over. "