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" I don't need Hollywood. With or without them, I'll be fine. But I'll admit it would be nice to have them on board. "

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" I'm always amazed at how much people 'get' when I'm performing overseas. I've never had to change my act on my international shows; I just make sure that I've taken some time to get to know the people in those countries before I perform. That's been really useful. "

" My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew. "

" On my best day, I cannot do Scottish people. I don't even believe that's a real accent, to be honest with you. I think they probably sound like us when they're in the house. It's how they keep people away from them. "

" I think a lot of people mistake my confidence on stage for cockiness in real life, and that's actually farthest from the truth. When I'm on stage, I'm that confident and that cocky because I have a microphone in my hand, and there's a few thousand people staring at me. And I know they're there to laugh. "

" There's always someone who's going to interpret my material as racist, but it's not. Racism comes from intent and power. A racist will tell a joke about a group of people only when they're not in the room. I'll talk about a group of people only when they're in the room. "

" I don't think Indian actors are good. A couple of them are, like Anupam Kher, but not many are there like him in the industry. There are thousand of actors and actresses in the industry, but you can count on hand how many of them are really good; the rest of them are just pretty faces. "

" I'm a hip-hop guy, and the first time I heard Eminem was in '96. He was on a record with Shabban Siddiq. I was like, 'Who is this guy? He's dope!' First album came out: awesome. Second album came out: awesome. Third album, I was like, 'Eh.' He started to get really successful. He wasn't 'mine' anymore. "

" Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life. "

" I don't want to be a part of any Bollywood movie. "

" I'm not just saying this, but I love everything about India. "

" There's a big difference between race and culture. Because racially, I'm an Indian man. Culturally, not at all. "

" My humour comes from acknowledging different communities. That's what my fans are responding to - they know that I 'get it.' I understand them. I take the time to understand them. I get more complaints from people when I don't talk about them. I've had guys come up to me after a show and go, 'You didn't talk about Latvians!' "

" I will never stop doing stand-up; that's my career, but I will do movies in Hollywood. "

" Stand-up and boxing are very similar. You're the only one out there, you're going into a fight, and you're going in with a game plan. "

" If you look good, you can act in a Bollywood movie, you don't have to be able to act; and Aishwarya Rai is a great example of this. She is a beautiful woman... You look at her, I want to look at her. Damn, she is fine; but stop acting or stop trying to act. "

Beautiful Woman

" Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. "

" I think for comedians, acting is their natural progression. It's all about progression. "

" You do stand-up because you have to do it. If you're doing it to become 'famous,' you're wrong. If you're doing it to become a millionaire, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. In 2003, I was flat broke. I'd been doing stand-up for 14 years at that point. I loved it and just kept at it. "

" I talk about race and culture, and that's what my fans respond to. If you grew up in an environment where race and culture were never an issue for you, or where you don't see the humor in our so-called differences, then you might not respond to what I'm doing. "

" The fans in Canada have been there since day one. They're the originals. When people say that's your roots, that's literally my roots. I've just cut this tree off and replanted it somewhere else and it started growing. But the roots are there. "

" No matter where you are, the root of you is designed from a young age. So if my confidence was taken as a child, you can gain back a lot of the confidence, but that root of the cavity will still be there. "

" I like the sound of laughter. I was the guy in the group of friends that would always make the friends laugh. And everyone was like, 'You should do stand up,' so I gave it a shot, and ta-da! They were right. "

" I love being a dad, and I'm a great dad. "

" I have a phenomenal memory. I remember every single thing that anybody said to me, ever did to me, who was nice to me and who was not nice to me. "

" I'm not a media darling. I'm forever the outsider, for whatever the reason is. "

" I've seen racism in my audiences. For example, I've seen people laugh at every other group, but then clam up when it comes to their community. You can't laugh at everyone else and then not laugh at yourself. You shouldn't be at my show if you can't laugh at yourself. "

" I would get bullied a lot. You know, it was the '70s and '80s, so it was a lot of racism back then towards Indian people. And it wasn't actual hatred, it was just that blind, 'Let's pick on that guy.' You know, and you've got to figure that I was a very small kid. And I had a big mouth, so I'm sure that didn't help. "

" I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs. "

" When you're DJing, there are songs I love to play, but I know people are going to walk off. It doesn't matter what I like. You have to be able to play the popular song and slip in one of yours, in such a way that they don't notice it. You've got them in such a roll that you get them back into what they think they like. "

" Ideally I'd like to be working steadily as an actor: movies, a TV series, that sort of thing. I've been through a few different TV development cycles, and they didn't work out. When the time and project are right, it'll come together. Like I tell a lot of guys, it's not a race; there's no finish line. "