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" I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy. "

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" I knew I was good at sports, and I knew I loved acting and performing, so I really dove into that, and school always became secondary. "

" Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor. "

" The #MeToo movement is insanely serious, and there's no comedy to be mined out of that. "

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" I don't feel any pressure to joke about #MeToo - in fact, I'd say you shouldn't, because it's a great movement that is exposing some really awful behavior and hopefully changing the culture. "

" It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is. "

" I operate off of fear almost exclusively. "

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" I always excelled in sports, so I knew I had advantages there. That really gave me, like, confidence and self-esteem. "

" In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off! "

" Netflix is just wonderful. "

" Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret. "

" It's an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it up as you go along. "

" My children do not know what it's like to flip around channels. They either go to Netflix, Apple TV, or they pull up YouTube, and they can watch their shows. "

" My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame. "

" Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy. "

" You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition. "

" The editors and the creators of 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette,' they are so good at casting and at finding these young, beautiful lunatics to go on the show. "

" I like anything with Zak Bagans and ghost hunters. "

" E! always wanted me to keep it to entertainment news or entertainment and no sports or anything like that, and don't get too weird. "

" When I started 'The Soup' back in 2004, I was so anxious because I can't really read, and I had to read teleprompter. "

" Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money. "