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" I don't want to talk about myself, that's for other people to say, so I'm not saying I was so talented. "

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" I grew up very nice. But after college, my father said you're on you own. So I was dead broke for years. So I know what it's - I lived on 600 dollars a month for six years. I know what it's like to be dead broke. I feel bad for people who are struggling now. "

" I didn't take anything from anyone - first of all. Second of all, I opened a comedy club with money that I saved over 25 years. I created jobs. "

" You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. "

" Some people, they got housing loans, and I think they're responsible for taking a loan they didn't qualify for? "

" I really didn't want to leave the show, but I got a chance to do a movie, which meant I would have had to miss two shows, and at the time Lorne had a policy where you can't miss shows, so I left. "

" You're in front of an audience, but you're playing for a camera. There's this huge adrenaline rush, because you know that besides the audience in the studio, there are millions of people watching at home. "

" It's fun to do something funny and have the director laughing. It makes you feel good. "

" First of all, this whole idea of this one percent versus the 99 percent, it's a false statistic. There's nobody that is wealthy saying, let's go get the people that aren't. First of all, there's no versus. He's creating a false class warfare in a country where there is no class structure. "

" Instead of making people victims of people who are successful, we should be telling people, 'Look, you are having a hard time, I feel bad for you. Let's look at what you're doing, let's teach you how to succeed. Let's give you the tools to succeed as opposed to turning everybody into victims. "

" Anybody can be going from being broke to being wealthy, as I did. "

" I had done plays in high school. It was something I always wanted to do since I was little. I was a drama major at UC-Irvine. "

" My dad would always say, 'What can you do to make the world a better place?' Well, I can make people laugh. "

" I would never tell anyone who to vote for. I'm a different kind of 'liberal' and I think people should be true to themselves. If you're Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, you should be true to yourself and be who you are. "

" I would love to have a part opposite a great actor - like, say, Pacino or De Niro or Hoffman. And to work with a top director. That's my dream. "

" Apparently, I said what a lot of people are thinking and a lot of people have thanked me. "

" The whole - it's the economy's bad. It's bad for everybody. I have my own comedy club. I opened it three years ago in a horrible economy. I created jobs. And we just started breaking even after a year and a half, barely. For that entire time, I have had to pay the difference of what we owe in rent and taxes and everything out of my own pocket. "

" Sometimes the best way to make 'em laugh is to show 'em how you honestly feel. "

" You, the actor, must be aware of when you're being funny, but the character you're playing should always be oblivious to the fact. "

" I would say if you are having a tough time in your life, then going to a club and getting laughs, it does make you feel better for that hour and a half show. It gets your mind off of it. "

" If I make a dollar and out of every dollar I'm taxed at 50, half, at 50 cents, I have to give, isn't that like enough? "

" The problem with the economy isn't that people aren't paying their fair share of taxes. "

" I like getting up in front of an audience. It's fun when you go to a baseball game and the crowd is cheering you. I can't deny it. And it's very funny, too. Sometimes you're shy; you go somewhere and everyone's looking at you, so you feel a little self-conscious. "

" Woody is the guy who made me want to be a comic. I was in heaven and couldn't stop smiling because he was my idle and 29 years after seeing Take the Money and Run, I was working for him. "

" I do see your point, but to me, I'm just a mouse compared to the President of the United States. "

" But Opera Man, I go, 'Oh, crap! Why didn't I think of that?' Because I could sing fake opera pretty good. "

" I agreed with everything he was saying when he ran for president. I was listening to what he said. I go, this guy thinks like me and I agree with him. Now he's changing. All he keeps saying is millionaires and billionaires don't pay their fair share of taxes. "