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" I felt like I was never going to be a great writer. I felt like I was going to be a good writer at best. I wanted to be great at something. "

Gene Weingarten

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" Sometimes, homely things are done for the best reasons in the world and thus achieve a beauty of their own. "

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" For $60, I once bought a neck massage at a 'massage parlor' that advertised in 'The Washington Post.' "

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" The Pulitzer is a crapshoot. Your piece has to hit a few people the right way at the right moment. "

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" When she was too young to resist, or even to understand, I turned my daughter into a lifelong, rabid Yankees fan. "

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" I am the most skilled parallel parker the world has ever known. "

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" The whole point of corporate mascots is to be distinctive. No one in his right mind would ever confuse the Hamburglar with Mayor McCheese. "

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" While it is true that many hep C victims became infected through blood transfusions or organ transplants or in other innocent ways, mine was contracted during my college years, when I showed as much care for my personal health as your average suicide bomber. "

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" I have two favorites: Reading Kierkegaard while listening to Mozart's Piano Concerto 9 in E Flat Major, and reading early Bazooka Joe comics in Hebrew. "

Gene Weingarten

" Because I live and work in Washington, D.C., I have a ringside seat at the world capital of The Persuasive Arts, or, as I like to call it, The Opinions Racket. "

Gene Weingarten