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" I got my SAG card doing commercials. "

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" Fantasy football has changed how I watch football because now every game is interesting start to finish. Even when its the Browns and Lions. "

" Between podcasts and places like Funny or Die or CollegeHumor, there are so many venues to get the word out. It makes it difficult in that there's a never-ending desire for content, so you have to constantly be turning stuff out, but that makes you better and more prolific in general. "

" I guess there should be somewhere on the Internet that feels like a source of sacred truth. But Wikipedia sure isn't it. "

" Really, I just love doing comedy. Any form it takes is great, as long as I can keep doing it, you know? If I can do my show and 'The League' while also getting to do other bits, that's awesome. "

" Without realizing it, I think I've wanted to do a sketch show since I was, like, 11 years old. Like everybody else in comedy, I grew up watching 'Saturday Night Live,' and I was doing characters with my friends. "

" Anyone you give a ton of money to is going to go slightly crazy. I don't think comedians are particularly special in that regard; they just are better or more vocal in their expressions of their craziness. "

" I would be psyched to get a phone call from Al Sharpton. I need to find out who does his hair. It's beautiful. It's a gorgeous mane. "

" I did, like, one or two plays in high school, but I don't think I realized I wanted to do comedy until I got to college, and I started doing improv and saw the Upright Citizens Brigade perform and did workshops with them. "

" I find Spike Jones' movies to be really very inventive and funny, but they're really sad and touching and really key into the different facets of the human experience. "

" Comedy is so collaborative. You're going to come up with better jokes with people you like joking around with. It just makes sense. "

" I have so many funny friends that I hang out and do bits with, and the fact that we can hire each other is amazing. I asked all of them to help make 'Kroll Show' the best that it can be. I'm selfishly trying to use their funny genius for my own benefit. "

" Meeting someone you admire, and then that person's like, 'I'm a fan of your work' - it's a really neat feeling. "

" My friends, we all improvise together usually. So we write what I think is a good script but always leave a lot of room to find stuff on the day; and we always do find something. That's the advantage to having actors who are, in their own right, writers. "

" You have to have a first job to learn how to act, do interviews, pose for photo shoots, and negotiate how you'll say lines with writers. My first network show, 'Cavemen,' just happened to be one that was culturally reviled. "

" I was never a western guy, but I happened upon 'Tombstone' one day on TV and was really sort of taken with it. It's one of those movies that, if it's on TV, I can't turn it off. I just have to watch the whole thing. "

" I'm proud of the work that we did, and my hope is that everyone who worked on 'Kroll Show,' it will be a credit that people will be like, 'Oh, you worked on that show? The word on that show was that it was good.' "

" Part of making art is learning how you make it best. I'm not great at sitting down at a desk and writing for three hours. I write best verbally, talking through an idea with people, so I do my best work when I collaborate. "

" I started doing improv in college, and I met Mike Birbiglia and John Mulaney and a bunch of other very funny, talented people who I'm still friends with and work with. "

" We all suffer in our own way; like, life is miserable. And I'm not, 'Oh, I'm a stand-up who's sad,' but the reality is that just about everyone is quietly unhappy. I don't think that pertains to comedians specifically. I think most people look at themselves in the mirror and are not happy with what they see. "

" When I was a kid, I would do Andrew Dice Clay jokes for my siblings. Like, we'd be on vacation, and I'd just recite Andrew Dice Clay jokes. They seemed to think that was pretty funny. Then it evolved into 'Wayne's World.' "

" An autograph is actually refreshing because everyone has cameras now and wants a selfie. That's why I carry signed headshots with me, to give out. "

" I miss the New York bagel but miss the New York bialy even more. It's a great compromise of bagel feeling with less dough stuffing. "

" I feel incredibly lucky at this moment in my career to get paid to do basically exactly what I always wanted to do. I appreciate that in general. But you know, like any job, a job is a job, and there are days that are going to be boring, or you have a boss you don't like, or people you work with. "

" I wish I was a cool guy and could drink coffee black, but I put almond milk and raw cane sugar in it. "

" Comedy can't be done in a vacuum, and you can't do it on your own. So if you have a community of people, it's a great symbiotic relationship. "

" In general in comedy, there are fewer people making a ton of money and a lot more people making a living. For me, the goal is just being able to make exactly the show I wanted to make. "

" I think my goal was just to do comedy, honestly. It still is. Whatever form that took or takes, it doesn't matter. "

" I guess my first big break was getting the hit show 'Cavemen' on ABC. People made fun of it, but it was a huge opportunity for me and moved me out to L.A., where I learned a ton about acting and how much I didn't want to be in makeup for four hours a day. "

" When you start as an actor, you can only hope you'll be able to act at all - let alone on a show that lasts seven seasons. "

" I had a world theme at my Bar Mitzvah: each table was a different country. I had a miserable time. There was one picture of me, and I'm wearing a double-breasted suit. There were all these people having fun, and I'm just standing there. I look like a corporate lawyer who just found out he's not making partner. "