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" I guess you could say that no matter what the characters are enduring, I try to make them retain their humanity. Their self-absorbed, grouchy, selfish, aggravating humanity. "

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" I like the idea of federal employees licensed to carry weapons who are also heavily medicated; it just works for me on all sorts of levels. "

MaryJanice Davidson

Employees

Carry

Idea

" When I first quit my day job, I was terrified. I called my editors and said I'm trying to make a go of this, and they threw every contract at me they could. And for two years, I had a book or an anthology out every month. "

" I love interviews, meeting fans, teaching workshops, giving speeches... all of it. "

" I'm more to my family than a wonderful, luminous cook. I'm also a wonderful, luminous butler and a wonderful, luminous chauffer. And checkbook. I'm a luminous checkbook, too. "

MaryJanice Davidson

Cook

Family

" I've found I can plunge the characters into whatever absurd, awful situation, and readers will follow as long as the writer makes them seem like 'real people.' "

MaryJanice Davidson

I Can

Situation

" When I wrote the first Betsy book, 'Undead and Unwed,' I had no idea, none, that it would be a career-defining, genre-defining book, the first of over a dozen in the series, the first of over 70 published books, the first on my road to the best-seller list, the first on my road to being published in 15 countries. "

" I'm really fortunate that I type 120 words a minute. "

" Magic: The Gathering is like Dungeons and Dragons if D&D was played with cards and didn't take 18 weeks. "

" I'd go to a bookstore, and I'd flip through flap copy, and I'd think, 'If this gal can get published, I can get published.' "

MaryJanice Davidson

Think

Through

" I own two beautiful homes, and I'm always half-expecting the cops to pull in, seize me with firm compassion, and escort me out. "

" I can't not write funny. It's literally the only way I know how to do it. "

" Being a writer is great, and being a parent is great, and I hate Marching Band. "

" I wrote for free for, like, fifteen years; I could redo my parlor in rejection slips. It would be surprisingly tasteful - they use nice paper. "

" Among other things, Marching Band forms state that if my kid starts acting like a li'l jerkface on a trip, Marching Band can call and command me to pick up my li'l jerkface. "

MaryJanice Davidson

Trip

Acting

" I'll cough up the bitter truth right now, at the risk of losing my Feminism Club Decoder Ring: I didn't go see 'Inside Out' for Amy Poehler, though she's terrific. I went to see my dark prince, Lewis Black. "

" I'm a sucker for the big, gruff, distant, emotionally closed-off hero who sloooowly warms up to the feisty, awesome, sweet heroine. "

MaryJanice Davidson

Awesome

Sweet

" I used to be a model and a medical test subject, though never at the same time. And since we didn't have much money when I was a kid, I know how to fish and hunt for my supper. And I used to win awards in speech in high school, which comes in handy when I speak to 200 people at a writers' conference. "

" I love traveling, but I love the bum I married, and the bums I gave birth to, more. And the dogs. I love them, too. "

" I might occasionally forget how to open a car door and have too many shower curtains, but I've got some standards. "

" The silly antics that would get me in trouble at school have put me on the best-seller list. So I guess the moral here is ignore your teach... never mind. That's not the moral. Probably. "

" I always knew I'd keep at it with the plodding doggedness that I used to master lump-less gravy and wriggle out of fitness classes; I always knew I'd get a zillion rejection slips. I figured I'd write part time while working various full-time office jobs, and maybe, maybe in my 50s, I'd be able to quit and try writing full time. "

" My 20s were a blizzard of rejection slips. "