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" I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service. "

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" When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?' "

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" Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them. "

" I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long. "

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" But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents. "

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" We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. "