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" I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where you're going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying. "

Harland Williams

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" I'd done a ton of movies here in Hollywood, and I realized that every movie I'd done was somebody's else's work and someone else's vision. "

Harland Williams

" What's interesting about Stephen Baldwin is that me and Dana Gould were originally cast for 'Bio-Dome' - but Pauly Shore and Baldwin ended up doing it. So there's a little movie trivia for ya. "

Harland Williams

" I was walking around bored one day, and I started filming stuff with my cellphone. There are all these shows where people are trying to do these outrageous stunts, and I thought it would be funny to do all these stunts that aren't outrageous but then act like they are. "

Harland Williams

" It was such a pleasure to work with Eugene Levy. What a treat. That's a guy I grew up watching as a kid. Guys like that, they were hilarious and didn't have to be super vile or X-rated. "

Harland Williams

" I love seafood. Whenever I'm in Las Vegas, I love going to the Bellagio buffet because they have these great king crab legs. "

Harland Williams

" I think a lot of people think I'm doing kind of a character onstage, but what you're really getting is just me. "

Harland Williams

" I sort of write onstage. I'll throw an idea out there, like Home Depot, and just start talking about it. "

Harland Williams

" I don't laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny. "

Harland Williams

" I'm an American citizen now, but I will always have Canadian pride. "

Harland Williams

" I'd like to explore the more abstract side of people's minds, as opposed to the usual sitcom stuff. I don't want to do the typical sitcom-type humor. I'd want to do stuff like go bowling with pineapples. "

Harland Williams

" I try to take normal things - whether it's a serious subject or something as obscure as a piece of toast - and put a very weird twist on them. "

Harland Williams

" Without sounding negative, I'm not a huge fan of a lot of stand-up. I'm more interested in an absurd kind of theater. "

Harland Williams

" Canada has been a breeding ground for great comedic actors, sketch artists and stand-up comedians. We grew up with a different perspective on the world. "

Harland Williams

" I used to do little sketches into my cassette tape recorder when I was a little boy. I would just turn it on and just start doing voices and characters. I just loved it. "

Harland Williams

" I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey, don't you? "

Harland Williams

" I just tried to create a life for myself that's full of fun and fantasy and things that equal laughter. My life's been cartoons and comedy and acting, and it's just been a fun life, man. "

Harland Williams

" The thing is, you never know with any movie how it's going to turn out. It's always a mystery - you'll do pages and pages of scenes that will never make it onto the screen. "

Harland Williams

" I don't go on tour tours - I just go randomly to cities to do shows if I have an opening in my schedule. "

Harland Williams

" In 'There's Something About Mary' and 'Dumb & Dumber,' I ended up improvising quite a bit of my scenes, and later I didn't even remember what I'd said because I just winged it. When I went and saw the movie, I was as stunned as everyone else was. "

Harland Williams

" The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life. "

Harland Williams

" The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it. "

Harland Williams

" My roots are in stand-up, and stand-up is very freeing. There's no script involved; you just fly. "

Harland Williams

" I get a lot of people telling me that I'd make a good 'wacky neighbor.' I wouldn't mind that, if it was a starting-off point. "

Harland Williams

" If you were to come out and hang out with me, just having fun at a nightclub or a party, that's kind of the version of Harland you'd get - silly, kind of always saying wacky things. "

Harland Williams

" If you're going to take a jab at someone, you should at least have a bit more of a personal relationship with them. I feel like you can be funny and clever, as opposed to just outright vile. "

Harland Williams

" I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City. "

Harland Williams