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" I have the capability to have a close relationship with someone. "

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" Hopefully there will be a day when all comedy is all robots. "

" There should be comedians who perform only for robots - I'm saying human comedians that only perform for robots. "

" Talking Heads were a big influence on my comedy. For David Byrne, every album had to be different. With 'Portlandia,' every season has to be different. You gotta reinvent the look, all of it. "

" I believe in limitations. I think the worst art ever made - in my opinion, because it's all so subjective - is where the artist had complete freedom. "

" When you're being mean to someone, you can feel the audience just get cold. "

" The Long Island experience is so strange. You're a satellite around the city, so the presence of the city is always looming. "

" I'm not by nature a cynical person. But sometimes your expectations are different from reality. "

" There's almost no such thing as a hipster. "

" I enjoy getting to work on 'Saturday Night Live', where I get to do people like David Paterson. And then, its like a different muscle to do someone like a bicycle guy on' Portlandia'. "

" I can't relax. I'm not happy unless I'm working on stuff. 'SNL' is always a huge workload, as enjoyable as it is. "

" My favorite album is 'Ram' by Paul and Linda McCartney. "

" For me, I would get so frustrated because I would see these other bands just whip by us. "

" I feel really lucky to get to do comedy, and music, at all. I want to do as much as I can. "

" I don't think I've ever hosted anything in my life. "

" I learned at 'SNL' that it's a bummer to bum people out. "

" My showbiz career started with 'SNL,' and to write an 'SNL' book... well, there are already enough of those. "

" I will always consider myself a punk because of those experiences in high school. It will always be a part of me. "

" I want it all... fast. I want to be married, I want to live together... and then somewhere around a year or two years, I get freaked out. I freak out emotionally and then I actually feel like 'Oh my God, who's this stranger in my house?' "

" Fereydun, that's my dad's name. My grandmother, my dad's mom, when she was pregnant, she was dating a man from Persia, a Persian gentleman. It wasn't his child, but he was still very supportive and said, 'Hey, this is a great name,' and so it stuck. So that's what she named him. "

" Sometimes 'Portlandia' can be pretty traditional. But the stuff I've always loved on 'SNL' has always been the weirdest stuff I've done. The stuff that went on at 10 to 1 in the morning. "

" You should approach everything in life like, 'What is this?' "

" Ever since I was really little, I started doing a - I don't know how to put this - mentally challenged person on my street. I meant no harm by it, but I remembered how this person talked, and I did it for my mom, and she was not into it. She said, 'You can't do that!' But my dad really laughed. "

" I love painters because I don't paint, so I get to enjoy art; I like collecting paintings. "

" I was actually late to the punk movement because I was too young. "

" Everyone knows deep in their hearts that the drums are the coolest instrument, and that a band is only as good as its drummer. So I'm all for drum solos. I'm all for drummers hamming it up. I'm all for drummers standing up and kicking over the kit. "

" There are people who are genetically made to start record labels, and I'm not one of those people. People just have it in their blood and are good at it. Corey Rusk from Touch and Go and Ian MacKaye. These are people who have made their own labels. "

" Music documentaries are tricky because of 'Spinal Tap.' That movie has stood the test of time. "

" I'll just say that there are times when TV shows, like 'The Honeymooners' or 'I Love Lucy' or something, where they're totally in their stride, and this thing happens, where you can tell they got everything they wanted. And it starts to look a little relaxed. No criticism to the shows whatsoever; these people are geniuses. "

" I take any project on a month or two at a time. Meaning, I don't think too far ahead. "

" Chalkboards being used inside the restaurant seem to be a good sign that the proprietors are proud of their food, and that's kind of nice, actually - it's a nice personal touch. "