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" I inherited the old family turkey farm, and I'm turning it into a fun place to go for my kids. "

Douglas Carter Beane

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" My favorite moments are the moments everyone cries over. I see people in the audience crying, and I go, 'I did that, too. I don't just do the jokes. I also do the cries.' Jokes and cries, jokes and cries. That's all I'm here for, people. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" I try to create some stupid entertainment for really smart people that they don't feel too stupid watching. In 'Xanadu,' the biggest laugh was a reference to Achilles. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" I've gone from a kid who was sneaking out of my childhood house and lying to my parents to do shows in a community theatre in Reading, PA, to now having two shows on Broadway opening within two months of each other. That's sort of crazy, that trajectory. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" I have very important phone messages that will be playing Broadway. An evening of my tweets I think is going to be booked into the Golden Theatre. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" If you're raised Methodist, Catholicism is a bit of a workout. It's sort of like you're up, you're down, you're up, you're down. It's a continual hokey-pokey. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" I love throwing myself into a place or a period or a point of view. In 'Fledermaus,' I loved throwing myself into the world of Vienna at the turn of the century. It was a lot of fun. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" I've seen nearly every Encores! show. I love the second acts so much because you just see desperation and inspiration in equal measure. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" I went into Xanadu going, 'I really dislike this movie - let me try to make it something wonderful,' but with 'The Band Wagon,' I really revere this movie. It's really a beautiful movie musical. And, yet, because I'm a writer and look at it that way, I see that there are faults in it. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" I think it's a very ephemeral thing, what makes a show a success. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" Dietz and Schwartz have sort of fallen by the wayside a little bit, and they are up there with Rodgers and Hart and Irving Berlin and Cole Porter. They are the finest of the revue composers - their stuff is so good and so strong. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" If I'm seeing you, you're going to influence me. I'm sorry - I'm just that way. I'm a big sponge. You can't copyright an aesthetic. "

Douglas Carter Beane

" When you do a film, when you do a television show, eventually someone comes along and will say to you, 'Don't say that because, one, you will offend someone, or, two, no one will get that. Someone's going to be confused by that, not get the reference and feel abandoned, and then they will get angry at the entertainment.' "

Douglas Carter Beane

" When people say 'Lysistrata' has always been seen as an anti-war play, what's interesting is to not make it an anti-war play, because I actually think there are important times to go to war in this world. That's just the reality. But what's interesting is the not caring. "

Douglas Carter Beane