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" I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah. "

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" I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen. "

" I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen. "

" Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity. "

" Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy. "

" I was a very confident little kid. "

" I think for women especially, you need to have a plan. I need to have some other ways to generate income, so I don't have to stretch my face or lift the top of my head with surgery or something. "

" I feel like it's harder to get women to show up for movies. "

" Sometimes people expect that I'm going to be tough. It's not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time. "

" When I was going to school in, like, '84 to '88, you didn't have cell phones. There was no e-mail, if you can wrap your brain around that. "

" Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward. "

" I don't like my feet. I'm not crazy about anybody's feet. But I have flat feet. "

" If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. "

" The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they're doing well, you don't really need to be in control all the time. "

" I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people. "

" You can point any kind of laser at my face, but I don't think Botox is for me. I think it is bad. People who have too much, they look like their faces are full of candles - a shiny, shiny face. "

" I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. "

" I don't want to be somebody else. "

" I feel like I represent normalcy in some way. "

" If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you're asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do. "

" I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other. And I don't think anyone's really doing it. "

" I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. "

" The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It's not forbidden anymore. "

" For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn't getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, 'Okay, that happened, and I did not die.' You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. "

" I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people. "

" Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like 'Saturday Night Live' forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model. "

" Even when I was at 'SNL,' I didn't do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them - I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show - but I didn't have any experience. "

" Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying. "

" I never get to go to movies, because I'm a mom. "

" I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, 'Well, they get pie. It's not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.' I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad. "

" I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. "