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" I tell you a joke to have you listen to me, and then maybe I will tell you another joke that we can laugh together and feel equal. And then I will tell you a story hopefully that will make you cry. So I think that's the way that I approach the columns, as a surviving tool in a way. "

Sayed Kashua

You

Think

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" There is really no place for individuals in Israel. "

" People who go far don't sleep an average of 14 hours a day. "

" My children don't even know who Fairuz is - a horrifying thought. "

" The truth is, I never travel without cash. I always take a few tens with me in case of an emergency. There's never been an emergency, and in time, I realized that Americans don't want to touch customers' dirty bills. They also don't want to touch your credit card: you have to put it through the machine yourself, with your own fingers. "

" Many Israelis are educating their kids in a very nationalist, powerful identity, since kindergarten - and the Arabs as well. "

" When was the last time an Arab MK who appeared on television wasn't there in the role of the accused who is attacked by a skeptical broadcaster? "

" I once wrote that the first week in Jerusalem was the hardest week of my life. I was different, other; my clothes were different, as was my language. All of the classes were in Hebrew - science, bible, literature. I sat there not understanding one word. When I tried to speak, everyone would laugh at me. "

Sayed Kashua

My Life

Laugh

" Since being on television, I have felt that my brain is degenerating. "

" After five years of marriage, she is still the most beautiful and attractive woman in the world. "

" I wish I could be proud of being an Israeli citizen, but how can I do that when I'm not really recognized as a full citizen? "

" I don't know how it works with the Jews, but here in Beit Safafa, as in every self-respecting Arab community that is respected in turn by the state, there are no street names and no house numbers. "

" I wanted to bring likable Arabs into the average Israeli living room. "

" Israeli independence - what we Arabs call al-Naqba, 'The Catastrophe' - it created Palestinian identity more than anything else. "

" It sometimes seems that the only plan the Israeli government has for the Palestinians is for them to sit quietly while Israel does whatever takes its fancy, equipped with its army, with laws it promulgated, and with courts it established. "

" It's the friends that make you survive this flat place called the Midwest. "

" Somehow it seems that all parents are certain that they themselves were victims of abuse in school and that they will not allow this to happen to their children. Even though children can also be the cruelest group imaginable - especially the cutest of them. "

" I really just want to be a writer and a storyteller. But maybe pain is one of the things you have to feel in order to be creative. "

" Americans like to add the word 'super' when they're describing things. "

Sayed Kashua

Word

Super

" When I come to the airport, they always send me with all the other Israeli Arabs to the foreign workers' line. I don't mind. I feel like I belong more with all the people from abroad and the foreign workers than in the Israelis' line. "

" If there was genuine desire on the Israeli side, even without a solution, it would be possible to solve a large percentage of the problems between Israelis and Palestinians by means of simple statements from the Israelis. "

" Israel defines Palestinians more than anything else. "

" I couldn't lie anymore to my kids telling them that they are equal citizens in the state of Israel. They cannot be equal because in order to fit in and to be accepted and to be a citizen in Israel, you need a Jewish mother. "

" It's problematic being an Arab who writes in Hebrew. "

" Well, you can't say you are lucky to live in Champaign, but I was lucky to be at the University of Illinois. It's a very international cosmopolitan community. That's very helpful. "

" A lot of my friends in my student days complained about how their parents made them play an instrument when they were kids. I always felt compassion for them and didn't believe a parent could be so cruel, but when I check today, those complaining friends grew up to be quite successful, and many of them are now making their children play. "

" I can never get to sleep without a book. "

" When Jewish youths walk down the street and demand the death of Arabs simply because they're Arabs, then I've lost my own small battle. "

" Whom do you speak to about introducing a leap year? Is it heresy to request such a thing? Why do the Jews have one and we don't? "

" Everything in London is quite good, apart from the weather: it's cold and rainy there, and the winter is long. "

" 'Arab Labor' was light, snappy. We got emotional over things, but from a safe place, from the terrace. "