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" I think I'd be a really good dad. So perhaps I'm doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible. "

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" I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end. "

" I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine. "

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" The best thing about me is there are no skeletons. "

" We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins. "

" I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate. "

" Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about. "

" I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry. "

" My biggest problem is retaining the exact information. "

" There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views. "

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" Where my comedy really solidified was when Bush was elected. I couldn't understand how craven and crass he was, and how dumb other people were for electing him. "

" I love Tinkle, it's really the most fun I've had in years. "

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" I'm of the mindset that most people who have kids are, which is, 'Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let's put another one of me out there.' So I'll have kids one day. "

" I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best. "

" I have no hesitation doing children's movies. Zero. And I don't even have kids. "

" I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner. "

" Religion triggers a lot of emotions in me, most of which stem from being raised Jewish in a very Baptist community in the South. I didn't believe any of it from an early age - the clubby quality of whatever religion or church you belonged to, Judaism included. It just struck me as foolish. "

" In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around. "

" I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright. "

" Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush. "

" If there are a couple of adjectives people use to describe me, anger is usually in there. I've never taken that as criticism. It's the way I naturally communicate. But I'm not faux-angry, like Lewis Black, or angry like a gun-toting crazy person. I'm just angry in a mild way - it's not like I'm going to do anything about it. "

" I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people. "