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" I use a lot of old-fashioned expressions. "
Susan Cain
Expressions
Lot
Use
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" To some extent, we've always had an admiration for extroversion in our culture. But the extrovert ideal really came to play at the turn of the 20th century when we had the rise of big business. "
Susan Cain
Always
Business
Culture
" I think the shyness one feels in childhood is often overcome with time. There are children who hide behind their parents' legs, but you don't see grown-ups hiding behind people. It just doesn't happen. I mean, not that often. People develop social skills over time. "
Susan Cain
Time
You
Parents
" The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness. "
Susan Cain
Happiness
Talent
Against
" I'm insatiably curious about human nature. "
Susan Cain
Nature
Human Nature
Human
" Men are more likely to be introverted than women are, but it's really very slight. But the real difference I think is in how it plays out, how it relates to cultural stereotypes. "
Susan Cain
Think
Men
Real
" As a parent, if give yourself what you need, your children will watch you doing that and will give themselves what they need. "
Susan Cain
Parent
Children
Yourself
" One thing I'm hearing a lot is from teachers who have felt that there's something wrong with the extreme group learning, but felt like they couldn't say that out loud. And apparently the discussion is now opening up. I think change is going to be a long time coming. "
Susan Cain
Change
Learning
Say
" I've never given a speech without being terrified first. "
Susan Cain
Never
Being
First
" Your tendency to be inward-directed or outward-directed is huge; it governs every part of the way you live and work and love. "
Susan Cain
Love
Way
Your
" Originally, technology was pretty clearly on the side of introversion. It allowed introverts to connect with people, to express their ideas in a less stimulating way: you're sitting alone behind a computer. But I'm starting to think that the pressure to self-present constantly online is becoming so extreme. "
Susan Cain
Think
Technology
People
" I'm insatiably curious about human nature. I feel very lucky that as a writer I get to learn so much about it just to do my job right. "
Susan Cain
Job
Nature
Human Nature
" I'm not saying abolish group work - I think there's a time and a place for people to come together and exchange ideas, but let's restore the respect we once had for solitude. And we need to be much more mindful of the way we come together. "
Susan Cain
Work
People
Respect
" You will find this hard to believe, but I've never laughed as much as I did when I was a corporate lawyer. When you're working 16 hours a day for months at a time, you get punchy. Everything and everyone seems hilarious. "
Susan Cain
You
Time
Believe
" You can't pick up a business magazine ever without seeing the word 'collaborate' splashed all over it. I think people are probably feeling assaulted by the need to always be on and always be interacting. "
Susan Cain
Business
Feeling
People
" I prefer listening to talking, reading to socializing, and cozy chats to group settings. "
Susan Cain
Talking
Group
Cozy
" Even when the attention focused on me is positive, I am uncomfortable being looked at by a lot of people - it's just not my natural state of being. "
Susan Cain
Attention
I Am
Me
" What's interesting is relative levels of introversion tend to stay the same. If you went back to your reunion from school, you would probably find that if you ranked everyone in your class into terms of levels of introversion and extroversion you'd still be the same rank. "
Susan Cain
Reunion
You
Back
" I've wanted to be a writer since I was four years old! "
Susan Cain
Old
Four
Since
" Shyness is about the fear of social judgments - at a job interview or a party you might be excessively worried about what people think of you. Whereas an introvert might not feel any of those things at all, they simply have the preference to be in a quieter setting. "
Susan Cain
Job
Feel
Fear
" I'm continually amazed by how many people who appear to be extroverts are actually introverts. "
Susan Cain
How
Amazed
Actually
" Some introverts are perfectly comfortable with public speaking; I'm not one of them. "
Susan Cain
Public Speaking
Them
Comfortable
" We need to do teacher training to educate them about what temperament means. Shyness is painful and you want to help a child with shyness - but the underlying temperament of being a careful, sensitive person is to be honoured, valued and respected. "
Susan Cain
You
Training
Teacher
" In a way, education by its nature favours the extrovert because you are taking kids and putting them into a big classroom, which is automatically going to be a high-stimulation environment. Probably the best way of teaching in general is one on one, but that's not something everyone can afford. "
Susan Cain
Education
Best
Environment
" It's never a good idea to organize society in a way that depletes the energy of half the population. We discovered this with women decades ago, and now it's time to realize it with introverts. "
Susan Cain
Way
Time
Women
" It's important for a parent to learn to take delight in a child whose behavior might seem mystifying. In the case of an extroverted parent with an introverted child, it can be learning to see the inner riches of your child that may not always be expressed on the surface - but are there. "
Susan Cain
Behavior
Learn
Child
" In our society, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to think that we value individuality, but mostly we admire the type of individual who's comfortable 'putting himself out there.' "
Susan Cain
Think
Value
Society
" Opposites attract, and I think temperament is so fundamental that you end up craving someone of the opposite temperament to complete you. "
Susan Cain
You
Up
Attract
" Most people who have grown up introverted in this very extroverted culture of ours have had painful experiences of feeling like they are out of step with what's expected of them. Parenting can pose unique challenges for introverted parents, who fear that their own painful experiences will be repeated in their children's lives. "
Susan Cain
Parenting
Step
Children
" I get a lot of letters from introverts asking how they can meet people. The key is to make sure that you are doing things you enjoy. "
Susan Cain
Enjoy
People
Key
" I actually find extroversion to be a really appealing personality style. "
Susan Cain
Really
Find
Style