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" I was a terrible waiter. "

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" Usually, you'll have a show like the 'King of Queens,' and there'll be one really fat guy, but at least he has a beautiful wife - they balance it out. "

" If you're faking it, people will know, and it's going to turn a lot of people off. "

" Facebook is weird. They have all of these seemingly random rules that I'm sure make sense to them, but don't make sense to me or any people. "

" Saying gay people shouldn't be the punchline is basically saying don't make people the punch line, which I think is ridiculous. The whole point of comedy is, on some level, to make fun of ourselves and put everything into an absurdist context. "

" I grew up worshipping Pee-wee Herman. "

" It's not enough for Hollywood to make a bunch of gay movies. That's obviously a big part of the equation, but then gay people have to show up for those movies. "

" I thought it would be funny to go to my Korean dry cleaner and ask her about my head shot, as if it's the most important thing in the world, and as if it's something that everyone should weigh on because it's important to me. "

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" I'm not a bro. "

" I would not have a career without Facebook and Twitter. That's the truth. "

" There is no way I will survive Mike Pence doing Carpool Karaoke. What song's he gonna sing? 'I Deported Your Grandmother?' "

" I have this ongoing obsession with Meryl Streep. "

" If you really think you have something good, you can't take no for an answer. You've got to get in there and ignore the people who say no. "

" For some reasons, I have WWE wrestlers tweeting me all the time. Like, my biggest fans. Why they can connect with my love for Meryl Streep, I don't know. "

" Every actor-performer says this, and it sounds so irritating, but I'm not the most outgoing person. "

" No one was asking me to be on TV. So I made my own late-night TV talk show. "

" A lot of comics aren't their on-screen personas; Chris Rock isn't always ranting and raving. What I do is make myself this over-the-top character that people either find endearing or they think is a joke. Then I can do anything I want. "

" I was very much an only child who was raised by the television and movies, and I grew up in New York. We weren't, like, rich people, but we were middle-class people and my parents supported this love I had for entertainment. "

" People come up to me all the time and say, 'I just found out about you!' Part of me is happy, and part of me is, like, Where the hell have you been?' "

" I came back to New York after college like any number of struggling performers, and you just find that niche where you can have some sort of impact. And for me that turned out to be comedy. "

" I thought I was going to be like Kevin Spacey in college. "

" People saw 'Moonlight' because it was excellent. "

" One thing that I love about 'Difficult People' is that Julie Klausner and our showrunner, Scott King, have written the lead character I play as a fully formed man. "

" I grew up in Queens, which is the most diverse borough: the rich and the poor and homeless and people of every sexual orientation and gender and age group. Everyone is saying we live in this bubble, and there's some truth to that. But I do not think it is healthy to all of a sudden invalidate the way we live in New York. "