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" I wore that same shirt yesterday playing golf. There goes the Nike account. "

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" Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished. "

" There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking. "

" The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up. "

" Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare. "

" I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin. "

" It's been dawning on me slowly that for the past 35 years I have been cast against type, and I'm finally getting to do what I really wanted to do. "

" There were 15 people in the village, including five of us. If my father arrested somebody in the winter, he'd have to wait until the thaw to turn him in. "

" It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better! "

" I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal. "

" I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous. "

" I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble! "

" It was a boy's name first. "

" I have always loved science fiction. One of my favorite shows is 'Star Trek.' I like the trips, where it drops my mind off, because they give you a premise and all of a sudden, you say, 'Oh!' and I'm fascinated by it. "

" I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent. "

" The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh. "

" I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important. "

" The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address. "