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" If I can make people laugh it's like being a good lover. "

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" I understood once I held a baby in my arms, why some people have the need to keep having them. "

" I knew I couldn't live in America, and I wasn't ready to move to Europe, so I moved to an island off the coast of America - New York City... It was tolerant. It was a place that tolerated differences and could incorporate them and embrace them, which was what America was supposed to be about and wasn't. "

" Skiing is better than sex actually, because for me a good round of sex might be seven minutes. Skiing you can do for seven hours. "

" I'm the man who sits behind a table and tells true stories from his life. I'm also an actor. I was trained as an actor at Emerson College, and I use that training to play myself. "

" When people used to ask me why I got involved with Hollywood films, I would say jokingly that it was for the health insurance. "

" Everything is contingent, and there is also chaos. "

" I'm basically a fearful person. I'm a phobic person. "

" I fantasize about going back to high school with the knowledge I have now. I would shine. I would have a good time, I would have a girlfriend. I think that's where a lot of my pain comes from. I think I never had any teenage years to go back to. "

" When Mom had her first nervous breakdown, she said she had a vision of Christ coming to her in the living room. "

" What's so fascinating about New Yorkers is that each person has a whole lexicon of personal logic in the way that they decipher and do what has to be done to enjoy, stay alive, take pleasure in this place. "

" I think of New York as a puree and the rest of the United States as vegetable soup. "

" I may look like an American WASPy doctor or lawyer, but I feel just like Woody Allen. Don't cast me for my looks - I have a very ironic, existential, crazy Jew in me. "

" I say that I can't make anything up. I think of myself as a collage artist. I'm cutting and pasting memories of my life. And I say, I have to live a life in order to tell a life. I would prefer to tell it because telling you're always in control, you're like God. "

" The fact that New York continues in the face of all of the chaos, of the crime, of the madness, you just think that it would just pop and vanish, just explode. "

" When I first came to New York City in 1967, I joined up with Richard Schechner's Performance Group - where we worked in the Performing Garage in SoHo. "

" Radio allowed me to be a creator, and TV stole that creation from me by literalizing - and to some extent limiting - my vision. "

" I was raised as an upper-class WASP in New England, and there was this old tradition there that everyone would simply be guided into the right way after Ivy League college and onward and upward. And it rejected me, I rejected it, and I ended up as a kind of refugee, really. "

" I think of my father and how confused he was by me. He understood my love for theater, and he understood that New York City was the only place that it was happening in America, really, in any live way. "

" I knew I couldn't live in America and I wasn't ready to move to Europe so I moved to an island off the coast of America - New York City . "