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" If I sound like I'm enjoying myself, it's not artificial. It's real. "

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" Most people's historical perspective begins with the day of their birth. "

" The idea of going back to college scares me, and I didn't even go. I went to college for one year, two semesters. If you add up the total time, I probably didn't even go one semester. "

" It doesn't benefit me to lie to people. They're eventually going to find out the truth, and then where am I? That's the problem with liberalism and socialism, by the way: it has to be propped up by lies. "

" So what is so strange about saying I want Barack Obama to fail if his mission is to reconstruct and reform this nation so that capitalism and individual liberty are not its foundation? I want the country to survive. I want the country to succeed. "

" The media is a like any other group of people. Their universe is all that matters. "

" The First Amendment doesn't give anybody the right to be heard. People don't have to listen to you. "

" I have an institutional fear of big government. I have an institutional opposition to bureaucracy. "

" After the Republican Party did everything that Colin Powell says it needs to do to grow, and nominated the very kind of candidate he wanted in 2008, what did Powell do? He endorsed Obama! So according to the Drive-Bys and David Gergen, Republicans should let somebody who campaigned and voted for Obama, tell us how to build our party. "

" People are pursuing happiness, but they're pursuing things that will never, ever make them happy, and they don't know that. They've got a distorted view of what will make them happy, what happiness is, and it's based on what they see on television. "

" Nobody in a leadership level in American politics is trying to inspire the American people. Everybody needs to be goosed. The vast majority of people are not self-starters. "

" If you commit a crime, you're guilty. "

" The Kennedy lifestyle is something that is looked upon favorably by the elites throughout our culture, both political and social. "

" I'm just wondering, folks, if I gave a speech on anti-capitalism, do you think I could be named Person of the Year by 'TIME Magazine?' "

" To somebody like Obama, substantive opposition is not tolerable. The objective is to eliminate all opposition - be it a political party, be it media, or what have you. "

" The mainstream media today has the biggest disconnect with its audience that it's ever, ever had. And as the disconnect grows and as more and more people distrust them, then the media digs in more and more and says you don't know what you're talking about, you don't know how we do our jobs, you don't know what's important. "

" I wonder if liberal kids call liberal talk shows and ask how to get along in a conservative teacher's class? No. No. It doesn't happen, 'cause there's no thought of getting along. "

" Folks, just a few minutes of my voice can change a life. "

" One of the reasons that the Senate was structured and founded the way it is, as opposed to the House, it was designed for gridlock. It was designed to stop massive new laws being passed and voted on daily. It was designed to stop the growth of government. "

" Let me tell you the polls that count, and those are the polls a couple of weeks before the election. That's when the pollsters worry about holding onto their credibility. Those are the polls that everybody remembers. "

" The Democrats cannot find Romney fingerprints on what's happening to this country. Every fingerprint is Barack Obama's, Joe Biden's, Nancy Pelosi's, Harry Reid's, Barney Frank's, you name it, Eric Holder. "

" It was a phenomenon I noticed many years ago. Young people were just giving up every bit of information about themselves they could. "

" Emotional roller coasters tend to emphasize the lows, tend to be more affected by the low, by the dip in an emotional roller coaster than when you are at the peak. "

" The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit. "

" Self-reliance - that's a dirty word to Democrats. They want people to believe that self-reliance means you don't do anything with anybody. They don't want it thought of as accepting responsibility for one's life. Enterprise. Imagination. Independence. Entrepreneurism. "

" What about feeling sorry for those who pay the taxes? Those who are people that no one feels sorry for. They are asked to give and give until they have no more to give. And when they say 'enough,' they are called selfish. "

" Canada has an immigration policy you might want to emulate. They want more skilled and educated immigrants. In fact, that's all they take. But, see, since nobody's watching them, and they're not a superpower, nobody really cares. So they are allowed to act in their best interests. "

" Most people have this protective view of the presidency. Anybody who holds the office is always gonna get the benefit of the doubt unless the media spends four years destroying them like they did Bush, and with Bush not returning fire. "

" I am the Doctor of Democracy. I am America's Truth Detector. And as the Doctor of Democracy, the deal you have with your doctor isn't changing. You get to keep your doctor. You get to keep your plan. You get to keep your station. Nothing's changing, and it really never was gonna change. "

" To change the media, you're gonna have to totally throw out every journalism school and get rid of everybody in every newsroom, and then you're gonna have to change the grade school and middle school and high school curriculum. "

" You could afford your house without the government if it weren't for the government. "